Friday, September 1, 2017



Happy September! Intense Souls,

Welcome.  Come on into my living room.  Please enter, feel free to take off your mask, sit down and get comfortable, let me get you whatever you need.  

As promised, here is PART THREE of FIRE AND ICE.   

Today begins a new month, new energy and a whole new vibe.  We are going to talk about unmasking!   

First, welcome back to those of you who have read the first two blogs (linked at the bottom of this blog as to not disrupt the Feng Shui of this flow). For those of you who have not read them (warning, they are long), it might be helpful for you to do that. But you don’t have to do that right now, just step right in and get comfortable.

So… why did I ask you to take off your mask and more importantly, how do I know you came with one?

You’re human (last we checked) right?  Go ahead and smirk, I know on some days it is debatable.

Everyone wears a mask at some point in their day.  The reason why I’ve asked you to remove yours, is because if we’re going to connect, share and I’m taking off mine to be raw, vulnerable and transparent for you to see, I want you to know you are in a safe, sacred, non-judgmental, peaceful, loving space to do so yourself.

Most of August, I did just that… I took the blogs (all fifteen of them) a different direction. This was for purpose… to show you I walk my talk, and for you to understand you’re actually reading something a human wrote. Verbosity proves how evident it is I have no editor here. There is also no teacher with the discerning red pen...thus, authenticity -I write like I talk.

Another reason for being raw, vulnerable and transparent is that I have no business asking you to do something I don’t demonstrate myself.  Maybe other self-help people will disagree with my method, but I can only be me... and as I keep telling you – ONLY YOU CAN BE YOU.

Giving you a glimpse into my world may explain what the heck I am doing here, give you some insight to life lessons on my journey along the way and why I am doing what I am doing with the hope to HELP YOU HOWEVER I CAN.

The only fit way I saw to do this was to take authenticity to another level in being open and walk in this pathway of truth WITH YOU, not only so you wouldn’t feel alone (because I know that sucks), but to also to humanize the entire experience a bit.  I’ll get in the trenches with you, roll up my sleeves, play in the mud fearlessly with you as we do the kind of journey excavation that requires real work, because that’s just who I am. Intensity, Humility with Integrity…it’s all I know as that is how I was raised.  Also, no one is perfect - yet it is through our imperfections that we arrive at a place of being of better service as the human connection is the common thread in the tapestry that weaves a beautiful picture for the greater good and highest good.  So even with my off-the-wall analogies, crazy stories and examples, my hope is to bring awareness.

The reason for this was so you know that personal growth, self-discovery, and expanding your horizon can evolve in a variety of ways.  As I may have mentioned before, I don’t believe in a one-size-fits all formula, and as I explain on my website, cookie cutters are for cookies (mmm..cookies), NOT PEOPLE.  Truthfully, I just described it that way to make it digestible to comprehend, as I haven't used actual cookie cutters since I was a kid. I prefer drop cookies with a spoon... because like life, you don't know how they're going to spread out.

But back to the masks. We do a tough trek in the big ‘ol world out there, pounding the pavement, putting on a brave face even on days we feel like dryer lint and most of that is for survival, for security, for safety and protection from being real, raw and vulnerable as the world is sometimes not a kind place.

When you are with me and we are having a conversation, a connection, a meaningful exchange, it can only be as meaningful as how real you decide you wish to be.  I will always be unmasked with you… so I know my end is authentic with pure intention.  That’s how I can sleep peacefully at night. These masks you see on the wall are a collection of mine from travels and I deliberately have them visible for what I just asked you to do. I like everyone to know they can relax, take off their mask and be real, raw and who they are and feel at home in mine.

How you show up is up to you.  While I will not force you to take off your mask, my hope is that you will get more out of your daily life if you choose to be brave enough to show up to be real. 

That being said, I know it is not easy.  However my hope is that you may find a way to live with more meaning if you do this. Perhaps your perception will be tweaked and you'll be inspired to do so after reading this.

The mask thing came about from an observation. It was not a clinically intended observation, though it may seem like that. The truth is it came from show biz… you know, the comedy/tragedy masks that represent theatre?

For decades working as an entertainment publicist I saw a lot of masks.  People like to show the comedy one, then behind closed doors, many sadly live in all that exists in the tragedy one. Lots of troubled souls I wanted to help any way that I could.  I saw a great deal of it because it’s just real life... and what goes on behind the scenes in Lalaland.

It was here I realized was how dehumanizing it can be for one to be raw, real and put their heart, blood, sweat, guts, tears and soul on display giving all that one has in the name of art to give to the world. If we look deeper, we see a soul honoring the gift or talent they were given to use on Earth i.e. life purpose.  When you give your all to your purpose, you exorcise your soul while exercising your free will and determination to honor said creative exorcism.

This of course can be only more disappointing for said art to be broken/shut down and shattered, judged, criticized, ripped to shreds by critics, spot lit by media within a clock-ticking industry kicking said artists to the curb after their fifteen minutes were up or said talent no longer being the flavor of the month.

Back in February 2003, I had a chance to work for a day in production-scene pick-up on an Adam Sandler film, Dickie Roberts: Child Star at Paramount Studios with twenty-eight faces that have been in your living room. 

Flip your remote, and you’ll have covered every TV show of the 60s, 70s, & 80s. They weren't all in the movie plot, they were in the end rolling credits singing 'We are the World' style song.... Bradys to Cunninghams, Munster, Menace, to Bradfords...a long, long list right down to teen mag cover icon Leif Garrett. 

You know the characters.  But chances are you won’t be able to rattle off their real names. Beyond that, you only would see the TV mask. Am I right? 

I don't see masks, characters, celebrity or any of that. I only see humans and souls. And that day, I saw plenty.

Seven of the twenty-eight faces are now deceased as I write this. 

Something has stirred within me, that I've wanted to articulate for a long time now.  There is unsettledness that remains adhered to a corner of my mind and embedded within a piece of heart which continues to be disturbed with the reality of life.

This ‘fight’ ….this ‘passion’ … this ‘trek’ I refer to that an artist or anyone with a dream endures to see through can be a lifelong journey. My respect for that runs pretty deep.

Some see it realized long term, others short term and others still with a blink of an eye. What it boils down to is this hope, this flicker of a flame that comes from the ignited spark of imagination within the soul to be realized, seen, with said creative art – performance, product, service, mission,________(fill in the blank). 

This art I speak of is for anyone who creates….anyone… you can be a topiary landscaper, an architect, a NASA engineer, a master chef, a dancer, a classic painter, a sculptor, a diversified musician, a fashion designer, writer, a cosmetologist, a computer tech graphics wizard, photographer, toy creator, actor, inventor, singer, a prosthetic creator, auto designer, filmmaker, ….I can go on for days – you get the picture…CREATIVE SOUL. 

Everyone is the same in my book - in other words,there is equality with creativity, no matter what field. Proof of that is my history with diverse artists… from The Banana Man who is in the Guinness Book of Records for his 100,000 banana-related items (now defunct) museum; to the daughter of the Learjet inventor who did a breast-feeding rap song for the La Leche League who now creates environmentally conscious electric boats. Can you honestly compare and say one art surpasses the next?  No.  You hear me tout 'uniqueness/individuality' and when you have that, you are a specialist. Again.. say it with me... THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU. 

If your creative heart is in your dream, you have my attention - everyone's work is unique.

The creative soul has a passion and a burning heart. I know this, as mine burns like an inferno.  This is why I see anyone who has a creative soul… both with your mask on and with it off and behind a closed door even if you don’t answer when I ring the bell. If there is an artist within 100 ft. or 3,000 miles my curious mind wants to know what the heck inspires you and how you are showing up in the world.

I think about the artist within everyone who has a creative thread dying to be realized or is a continuous work in progress and mastered.

When you get to a certain exhaustive place on your journey, most people allow their creative art to become their mask.  Part of me gets this… a piece of our DNA gets in there… our art becomes part of who we are. 
We take ownership. It’s our calling card… it’s our idealism of ‘here’s my soul in my _____creation.’ 

Sometimes it even becomes our identity and that is when we must ask ourselves, if we've lost something and if a piece of our soul has died on the vine in being sold into functioning within the world or the marketplace, if in the end connection is lost.

This weighs on my mind frequently... not just because I'm a bit of a rebel, but because I remember something a classmate of mine said in my junior year in high school, "Stacey, it's lunchtime and I want to eat your earrings because they remind me of Fritos...that said, it's because of those earrings, I know you'll never be a conformist, you're not a sheep."  

That classmate Bill was also not a conformist.  He was cut from a different cloth and was willing to be unmasked in a grand way. His style was reminiscent of Adam Ant meets Broadway.  He was in choir with this girl Leslie who was also cut from a different cloth and she was totally goth/punk meets ingenue lumberjack.  They decided to go to prom together and unmask themselves differently. He was a junior. She was a senior. No limo to prom.  They rented a hearse.  No typical corsage or boutonniere ... black dead flowers. They asked me to dress up as some sexy French maid to be their server.  My mom was a seamstress and was all-over creating this very twisted request of an outfit, even if she didn't understand why.  My classmate Patti was in band. She played the violin and she was asked to participate in this unmasking reveal, too. This entire set-up was to make some sort of set-up in a commercialized setting for purpose and reason to break the mold of stereotype expectation. 

This 'art' expression was meant to defy people's idea of 'normal.'

Bill brought his grandmother's fine china and finely pressed linen napkins in a picnic basket to my house and instructed me to bring these dishes wearing said outfit to McDonald's, where he had already arranged for them to roll out the red rain carpet when the hearse arrived. Patti was instructed to play the violin both outside as the hearse rolled up and inside as they looked over the menu I had rewritten in Francais "Le McD's.." with their favorite hamburger au fromage et frites in calligraphy.  

Patti only knew one song from beginning band, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" - so she had to play this repeatedly for an hour as I walked in fishnets and heels getting stared at by creepy old men, while I tried to not to drop the fine china covered in burgers and fries. That night was something. Bill and Leslie were unmasking themselves for who they were and how they wanted to show up at their prom - not the prom everyone else was showing up at according to rule book.  Creative souls unmasked get to be real, raw, vulnerable in their truth - but it wasn't so much about art for Bill & Leslie as it was for them to be REALIZED. That is what UNMASKING IS FOR!

What I learned on the set of Dickie Roberts in 2003 is no different than what I learned in my junior year. 

For all of these former child stars, it was no longer about the focal point of the art that mattered as much as the connection for authenticity to express what was desired to be seen and understood. The wish to have masks off in order to be real, to be raw as is - not hiding behind the mask of a character which gave them something initially, but took away authentic identity through stereotyping/typecasting... as only being perceived/received as a shell of their existence.  Unmasking was to be looked at as a means to add more meaning to this entire equation.

Fortunately for me during this twelve ++ hour day, I got to know the real people, NO MASKS, no characters and my time with each of them remains sacred. All they wanted that day with me was to be REALIZED.  

When the deaths happened and these artists started dropping like flies I began to think about the secondary piece of this ‘dehumanization’ in the form of how one sums up a life.

This creative soul trek that is the daily motivator for the human to actually wake up every day to drive the human to “do” or to “deliver” or to “seek” becomes muddied and clouded during an obituary 30 second sound bite to sum up that said ‘lifelong creative trek’ I speak of.  That’s for public people. Everyday people don’t even get the 30 seconds. 

Going back to the set, talking about the connection and not the art that mattered, I discovered that for most of these child stars and artists, the epiphany arrived after being kicked to ‘said curb’ and the spotlight dimmed, not when the light was falsely holding them up, that wasn't real.

You see, while ‘art’ can become a legacy and can live on beyond the artist, the ideology that this art transcends to the point of the creative soul’s own immortality is a blurred line. 

Creativity is really about letting uniqueness shine through, individuality to be known, to not just exist but matter to someone and to be expressed, so that the soul knows the work has been done but the human knows it was accepted, received and that the human mattered on Planet Earth. 

The one piece Transhumanism (The intellectual and cultural movement that affirms the possibility and desirability of fundamentally improving the human condition through applied reason) brings forward is that if we were to blend the idea of ‘connection’ to the human condition through art itself…. It could in turn exorcise an artist’s own soul as some desire. Therefore this ‘trek’ … maybe wouldn’t be so dehumanizing in many aspects if its application could be greater than the sum of its creative parts.

Couldn’t we have art and connection and meaning even without it in everyday life?

H-E-double-hockey-sticks to the YES and that reference was intentional. Two hockey sticks can swat that darn puck back and forth, but none of the goals at either end matter until you fall down on that ICE, get real BEHIND THE MASK and ignite that FIRE so you can merge your emotions with rising to the action of connection, purpose, team spirit, reason, being, meaningful life. Otherwise, it's all just a game, right? Not real.  

It got me to thinking which is why I bring up the experience purely to make a relevant point….

YOU have taken off your mask in your own living room with these people as yourself, chilling in front of the tube, being you throughout your TV viewing life.

BUT, let me ask you…. Have you taken your mask off with some of your own family members or friends as your authentic self the same way, not hiding behind the character they know you as?

See what I did there?  *My human loves it when this happens*  I think I just sprained my jaw as my human is channeling this entire blog.

Your own intimacy and relating abilities can connect with maybe a handful of said TV characters you see in your own living room.  But you may not have invested as much time with YOURSELF to see why you relate to these characters to care about them.

How do I know this?  If I were to ask you the plot of your favorite TV show and asked you to tell me about the characters – you might be able to tell me in the most colorful detail, right? 

Though, if I were to ask you to tell me all about who your parents are (as people, NOT your parents),  what their childhood was like, how they struggled and grew up into the world to becoming your parents…what their relationships were like with all the characters in their life through the twists and turns of their journey….. Could you tell me with the same colorful detail?

To test this theory, I actually conducted a survey… do you want to know the sad results?  93% of the 100 people surveyed could not.

Shocking, eh?  

This is why I wanted to make this Fire and Ice Part Three: The Link to Unmasking.

Take your mask off. Do it. Let your dear ones see the real you before it’s too late.  Ask your loved ones to do the same.  Seriously.

While I lost my father when I was 26, and technically lost my mother at 15 (when Alzheimer’s began to take her memory away), I can honestly sit here and tell you, I knew my parents as people, not just as my parents.

I can tell you every job they had, and all the dreams they had (some they saw through and others never realized).  I can tell you what they did as children, what they feared, what they learned and what they experienced.  From their favorite things which changed, to which stayed the same later in adult years, to some of their resentments, regrets, disappointments, greatest joys,  most embarrassing moments, their largest emotional obstacles and what occupied their thoughts most of the time and what they pined for.

Oh and YES – unmasking also unmasked THEIR CREATIVE SOULS (both realized in real life and also what they wish they had pursued). I tell you first hand, I am grateful, thankful, honored and blessed to know these things.

If you have parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles who are ‘getting up there’ who are still on this planet, I urge you to know this same joy I know.  You won’t regret it… you really won’t.  You’ll have more peace, more liberation and freedom in closure when that dreaded time comes and it will last longer than a 30 second sound bite in your mind and heart.  You will get a chance to tap into THEIR creative souls and see their flicker, their flame or perhaps their internal inferno to create. 

Whether or not their dreams have been realized as a human or a soul for their time on Planet Earth - to be SEEN, understood or received by you, their child, their relative makes all the difference.  Maybe you’ll find it resonates with yours.  Maybe you’ll even get inspiration from it … but you won’t know unless you take that mask off (both theirs and yours) to find out.

But it begins with YOU. So do you know what that means?

You have to take your mask off first.  You need to be vulnerable first… maybe you start from the place of being their child, niece or nephew or grandchild.  Or maybe you simply approach it as the adult you are today in an expression of gratitude for how they shaped you, influenced you or maybe even inspired you.

Please tell them. Don’t be afraid.  They’ll never judge you (even if their words may come out that way) – for expressing how you feel or for asking the questions they may be stunned hearing from your mouth.

As we approach Labor Day weekend, I think about these things…. And you know why if you read Fire & Ice Part Deux.   It will be the silver anniversary of my father’s death here in a few days and I think about these things so that I can help you.

Your journey is yours, mine is mine, but if I can ignite your brain, soul and heart in a direction within your own human experiences by sharing some of mine, you can see Linkronicity is truly, wherever you are. You'll find people cut of a different cloth on the same page of wanting to be UNMASKED.  You'll discover characters and creative soul art have to come into their own to be in the pathway of truth REVEALED and REALIZED.

Here you can find inspiration and motivation from the oddest of places.  Granted some of mine are odd (like Bill & Leslie's story with the hearse at McDonalds) and you haven’t even heard a third of my LIFE LINK lesson stories yet.

For those of you who made it through to the bottom of the blog who did not get to read Part One and Part Deux… here are the links:



For those of you dizzy from reading all of this and are still confused about what being RAW means.. here's my video on the subject:

This Fire and Ice three part blog has been my way of showing you that you can connect to your emotions (WATER), and yes, rise (FIRE) in any situation that you encounter and if you choose to AIR out your real, raw, vulnerable authentic self, you can transcend what lies here on EARTH.

You have within you the elements to connect.  You have within you the infinite possibilities to take your extremes with your creative soul and have more meaning in your life in a variety of ways.

Unmasking is the beginning. If we can start here, we can FACE THE WORLD in a way that brings depth and greater PERCEPTION BEYOND WHAT THE EYES CAN SEE as you get in touch with your INNER CHILD star (and that of your loved ones) and see the real light that guides your life.

From here we can go beyond WHAT OUR WORDS CAN SAY --- we can get to a place where our HEARTS CAN FEEL and our SOULS CAN FLY BEYOND the Cosmos I spoke of in Part One and the Linkronicity of the elements in Part Deux.

When we get to the REVEAL of what unmasking can do right here in Part Three… we connect, create and FACE our reality of actually creating a life that is more beautiful than art... it is all of us being REALIZED AS WE WISH UPON A TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR before we all need a hearse and human time is up.  French maid outfit optional.