Monday, September 12, 2016


Life gets busy. Whether or not your calendar is overloaded, you may find that life becomes even busier by the day. 

Ask yourself how many times you have had to ‘reschedule’ something in your life, or ‘take a rain check’ as you try to figure out your own life’s balance. 

Overbooking is a bad habit.  Nobody likes it when airlines or hotels do it, so why is it that most people happen to do this to themselves and their own lives? 

Worse... "sometimes when you overlook."  What do I mean by that?  

You could be missing another more important time-sensitive deadline which needed your greater attention,
which has consequences more serious than the ones you are self-imposing! 

Maybe you have a deadline coming up that is work-related; or perhaps you really need to be somewhere, which has a ripple effect (positive) or negative, that is dependent upon your presence.  

Sometimes it is possible for you to clutter your schedule to the point, you miss the more important stuff because you cannot see it.  This in turn, can and will have an effect on the outcome of something bigger.

So back to the question 'why is it that most people happen to overbook?'

How you answer this question, reveals the key to your links of distraction.  It will show you what you are choosing to surround yourself with in your own energy field.  

First, you need to ask yourself …WHY do you overbook yourself?

Do you have FOMO? (Fear of Missing Out)

Or are you afraid of what your life would look like if your calendar was empty?

If your life links are knotted up in a tangled chain, you may not realize that you are creating links for yourself which are not healthy for your well-being. 

Overbooking is distraction.  Next, ask yourself WHEN do you overbook...?

Is there a certain time where you do this... i.e. to avoid another annual calendar event, like maybe a death anniversary to avoid grief?  Maybe you "fill up" this time to avoid confrontation of your own feelings!

Maybe you do this at the slower periods of your seasonal load?  Is it that you do not know what to do with yourself when you are not busy?  Perhaps you overbook to distract yourself from other mundane chores or issues you'd rather not do, so that you purposely have an excuse for avoiding them again, because you are 'too busy.' 

Some people overbook their calendars to put on the pseudo 'adult' hat to look 'grown up' and 'in-demand' because they want to avoid real adult responsibilities or old childhood issues they have not yet dealt with.  

This may sound ludicrous to you, however what I have learned in all of my years of life and business coaching, this 'crutch of convenience' is more common than you realize.  This is why businesses who "have meetings" but get nothing accomplished fall into this pit.  This is why people who are continuous 'social outing people' have no 'real friends,' because they are only shallower fair-weathered connections and not real ones.

Distraction is avoidance or denial from confrontation or facing truth which lies behind the packed schedule. 
Imagine what your life would actually look like if you had more time on your calendar to float, be spontaneous or take in an opportunity which presents itself instead of always having to say ‘no’ because you have no room to say ‘yes.’ 

Perhaps you haven’t examined another element of overbooking which needs more of your attention.
If you overbook social engagements because you have numerous ‘flaky friends’ you cannot count on, maybe it’s time to re-examine your friends list.

If you have business colleagues who put you on the ‘low priority list’ to meet up for coffee – perhaps it is time for you to re-evaluate the kind of connections and quality of exchanges you’ve chosen as links you have in your life to fill your time.  You may be in 'fear' that the reality you face is that they are using you or not really truly invested in the deeper connection of a more meaningful and intimate-conversation based friendship of quality for the long haul. 

You may have to face the fact that you 'like to feel needed' and therefore you keep these lower-grade quality connections in your sphere for fear of using your 'true voice' because you don't want to seem like a jerk for speaking up to say the friendship is one-sided or non-reciprocal. 

Sometimes the root of distraction is based on how you are valuing yourself, your time, energies, and what you actually give vs. what you receive.

Distraction with overbooking yourself prevents you from having experiences in the fortifying ways you can find balance in your everyday life.

Perhaps you have told yourself you are “too busy to__________” (exercise, meditate, take a class, enjoy the arts or take on a new hobby, volunteer your time).  

Just imagine how your life would look if you stopped overbooking yourself with appointments which do not serve your soul or spirit.  What if instead chose to devote your energies to more valuable connections and more meaningful bookings? 

What?  You mean you'd have more meaningful bookings?  Is that possible? 

YES, my friend.  YES.  Re-read that and blow your own mind --- you will see that your own quality of life resides in your hands.... oh yes, and in that calendar!   Why is it you never prioritize yourself?

Let’s start with yourself, your health, your life and lifestyle.

If you don’t matter to yourself enough to book yourself into your own schedule, what energy message are you sending out? Is this WHY you are attracting flaky friends or colleagues who consider you a low priority?   

Could it be that this energy is because you flake on yourself and put your own needs in the low-priority category?
What if you tried one small LINK TWEAK…?

Instead of meeting a business colleague for coffee - why not reconfigure that meeting for a business power walk-n-talk?  If your colleague flakes on you, you are still getting in a power walk instead of sitting in a coffee shop with cold coffee.  

Instead of standing alone waiting for a friend to show up at a restaurant for your weekly social outing, ask your friend to volunteer with you at a charity event or take a one-day class.  If your friend flakes on you, you are surrounded by your own new group of like-minded individuals where you can have a meaningful and valuable experience whether your friend shows up or not. 

Suddenly, you will see that the many things you believed you did not have time for, are now incorporated as a part of your life, rather than being kicked to the sidelines on a waiting list.  

What you have ultimately done with this one link tweak is you have shifted and re-positioned your own time management just by the activity alone.  This prevents you from ‘overbooking’ if you set an activity as a part of your ‘meetings.’  

Your time is automatically as a window of space, like a set appointment (without planning for cancellation, but you have a built-in safety net anyway).  This also prevents you from squeezing in unnecessary activities and overbooking yourself to overcompensate for the person who flakes in your life. 

As humans, it’s easy to get into a habitual pattern of the “rut” of wasting time, letting our LINKS rot by waiting around and putting off our own fortifying energies just because others are not on the same page to show up the same way we would like.

When we learn the art of removing time wasting links of distraction from what we could be doing, somehow our life begins to shift and change toward our true self and who we really are.  Rather than waste time trying to link to energy which leave us empty, we can begin the new proactive pattern of linking to energies that realign with what we want, shaping our own LIFE LINKS.  

 Our journey takes on a new transformation position just from one small tweak.

Another way to remove time wasting links of distraction is to streamline your idea of what ‘being busy’ is by the way you define it.  

Normal human behavioral response is to utilize busyness as a distraction all by itself. When people keep busy with back-to-back scheduled activities, it is not always a healthy thing to do.

Ask yourself the following:

  • What am I avoiding by filling up my calendar?

  • Who am I ultimately serving with my time and what ratio of it is given away too freely?

  • What have I neglected by ‘overbooking’ my time? – i.e. responsibilities, emotions, relationships, health, etc.?

  • When was the last time I…. ? (list what is important to you)

When we start to examine our schedules, we can take a closer look at how our own links of soul fulfillment start to become depleted, as we put ourselves in our own process of elimination rather than the behaviors which create the problem.  

This is the starting point to understanding prioritization, and where we fall on that long list of ‘things to do.’ 
If you discover you put yourself last on the list, it’s time to start changing your priorities and begin re-evaluating your self-worth.  

Distractions are not our friend.  They are temporary fixes for where the real issues reside.  

Sure, everyone may need a laugh or a night out from time to time, but too much overbooking can lead to an emotional breakdown, illness or injury from extreme fatigue and exhaustion,  more stress, and sometimes it can lead to depression or feelings of anxiety when the calendar changes.

One of the top contributors toward post _________blues (fill in the event, vacation, or holiday) is the sudden shift of going from one extreme to the next.  

If you are in the constant habit of activity – how you deal with yourself and your life alone in your own skin without it is very telling in what ‘overbooking’ and ‘overextending’ can do to your well-being and psyche. 

We often underestimate the power of solitude, resting, relaxation, silence, and peace.  

The busiest people claim they don’t have enough of it.  However, if you get to the root of truth, they are not comfortable living in it, which is the primary reason for overbooking their time and calendar.  

Distraction and overbooking can lead to unhealthy, toxic and destructive behaviors if not managed properly.    
Some people like to zone out and turn to the distracting crutches of substances or addictions.  These addictions don’t always end up as alcohol or drugs, but video games, shopping, gambling, sex, excessive workouts, collecting/hoarding, eating disorders and the list goes on.  

Overbooking can also fall into this category.  It is often overlooked, as an addiction, but depending on the severity, you may need professional help.

Take a closer look at how you waste time or utilize distraction in your life.  These may be the very links which prevent you from living your best life.
Begin with the step of not overbooking yourself and slowly integrate a new habit of tweaking your scheduled life links.  

Get some help and proper perspective on how you deal and manage with your daily activities so you can get in to balance and begin reshaping how you can better handle the time links of your own life.


Wednesday, September 7, 2016


Your life is full of LINKS.  

You have the good LINKS, which have been part of your GPS navigational system along your journey thus far.  These are ultimately leading you toward your destiny.

You have also learned that you have the power to change and ‘tweak’ some of your existing LINKS within your chain as you continue to evolve and grow.

Along this ride, you have also discovered the toxic LINKS which you need to eliminate because they are unhealthy for you.

Have you ever taken a life hiatus, break, or sabbatical in order to evaluate the LINKS in your life chain in order to do all of the above? 

That is the Art of Unlinking and Relinking

If you have ever taken a vacation, you know how good it makes you feel to be on it, just simply enjoying life itself, and the fruits of your labor.

You also know how you feel ‘recharged’ when you return to work after taking a vacation.
What if you could do the same thing with your life? 

Imagine how it would feel if you could have this same elation, exhale, and rejuvenating vibe in your daily life!

Of course, we are not asking you to shirk your responsibilities or become a hermit.  

UNLINKING yourself from pieces of your life is simply detaching yourself from your everyday worries, anxiety, stress, overactive mind and ultimately ‘control’ over the things which deplete your energy.  RELINKING is making the choice to change how you connect to activities and time allocation you’ve simply neglected, ignored or have not invested to make the most of. 

The big surprise?  You can actually do this while you are living your present life, though it is a matter of a behavioral adjustment.

You have twenty-four hours in a day.  The easiest way to dissect your day is to note the hours you devote to the various components of your life.

Most people have their days broken up into several segments:

*Work Life
*Home Life
*Leisure (social life/hobbies)

Those who have school or other segments may have a longer list.

Every person has an allocated time block for these things to make up their life.  However, in today’s society of multitasking, the lines have become blurred when it comes to compartmentalization/segmentation.  

In some ways, this allows us to ‘do more’ and ‘be more.’ 

In other ways, it is depleting our energies and fragmenting our lives where they are stretched too far and we forget to ‘make time’ for an area in our life which may be lacking attention.

For most people, this area is wellness.  Wellness is more than exercise, nutrition, and health.  Wellness is about well-being beyond physical health.  Wellness includes mental, emotional, and spiritual health areas as well.

For others, the ‘play and have fun’ aspect of life is missing.  Life becomes very serious with a long list of responsibilities, obligations, duties, errands and tasks.  Suddenly laughter, ‘lightness’ and playful joy is null and void.

There is a third group of people who have the learning, stimulation and curiosity/adventure component missing from their lives.  Life has become a rut, a routine of sorts that falls into the pattern of complacency, stagnant energy and the zest is gone. 

The fourth group of people has a sense of ‘connection’ removed and a ‘void’ system happening in their attachment to happiness.  

This is otherwise known as the ‘blahs’ group where nothing seems to be of interest.  There is a different kind of ‘unplugging’ and ‘disconnect’ from life because they have stopped dreaming altogether.  Usually this group is either seeking help or numbing themselves.

To get a clearer picture of your life, keep a running journal or calendar of your day’s activities.  You will begin to see a ‘pattern’ form in where your time is heaviest in each compartment and it will become evident what area is missing. 

The Art of Unlinking and Relinking is the practical application of recreating a brand new schedule for yourself. 

If you are the kind of person who has to check their email and work on your day off, try using your day off as an actual day off.  You may laugh and think this is silly and ridiculously obvious. 

However, if you have not actually tried it to know the difference of removing yourself and UNLINKING yourself from self-imposed deadlines that do not exist; you do not know the liberation of what it feels like to do it.

If you are an errand maniac and load up your weekends doing nothing but errands, try going one weekend without doing any and instead schedule in that forgotten hobby or take a class to reinvigorate learning or go for a hike to add in adventure.  

You will notice right away how better your life feels when you make a DIFFERENT AND CONSCIOUS CHOICE from your habitual one. 

It is easy to fall into ruts and routines.  Why not re-create a new routine instead and develop your own Art of Unlinking what you normally do, trading it in for a life-recharge with just one changed action to change-up your life’s LINKS altogether.

It is important to understand the human brain, and default behavioral patterns we fall into regularly.  If we take note of the conscious efforts we can do (but often do not) to eliminate our own sluggish routines, we are empowered to make changes. 

What becomes overwhelming for some is that they believe that a life change has to be a major overhaul.  This is not the case.  Quite often one small tweak or one small act can provide an entire LIFE LINK change within your row of LINKS.  This alone can change the energy field from your normal activities and invite new energy into your life that was not there before.   

The benefit of this entire process?  You could learn something new, meet new people, and even inspire your own circle of friends to do the same thing.  When this happens, a larger ripple effect of ‘one small change’ can happen, creating a new wave of energy altogether.  

THIS IS THE ART OF UNLINKING and RELINKING.  It can influence your life many positive ways.  You just may end up discovering something new about yourself in the process!