Sunday, March 31, 2019


You know by now, life does not always go the way YOU plan.

Your human may believe that when things are not going your way, that you might have failed somehow or that you must give up your plan or dream.

Is your human right?  

Are you being tested? (i.e. persistence, tenacity or … patience)

Did  you ever think that perhaps your human is being deceived by false perception and delusion?

What if the Universe decided intended to ask you to temporarily take a detour, so that you could see something you would not have seen before had things gone according to YOUR plan?

What if the Universe chose the delay in order to give you …

  • ·         Deeper insight

  • ·         Greater strength

  • ·         Extra time to prepare

  • ·         A place to ask yourself the tough questions

  • ·         New experiences

  • ·         Additional bits of information that would be helpful in navigation

  • ·         An opportunity for reflection and gratitude

  • ·         Fresh alternative choices that were actually better than your plan

  • ·         Higher wisdom to see you were simply needed elsewhere

Take a look at the above list. 

  • ·         How do you feel about your detour now?

  • ·         Do you see how you are being given gifts through your own detour?

  • ·        Can you utilize the detour as a way to broaden your perspective?

  • ·         What if you were to gain greater wisdom from this different pathway?

The big question now is, how would you like to make peace with your life detour and LINK your newfound tools to this changed perception? Do you suddenly feel differently now?

Life is a process of being and doing – not one of these can bring you everything.  Life is about the balance of both in order to comprehend how you choose to incorporate this balance into the realm of existence so that living can take shape within the context of how you continue to define it.

The loaded question:  How do you choose to define it?  That’s up to you.

While some say life has compromise, others say sacrifice, but the CHOICE you have is how you FIND peace from your choices. Consequences do not have to be your life’s dream death sentence, rather it can be another avenue to a life you didn’t know, which can bring unexpected adventures and growth opportunities to expand your own consciousness. 

It is how you choose to make peace with this life terms definition. The reality and outcome rely upon how you LINK PEACE to your life detours, because you can make peace, create peace and cultivate peace, even by being a catalyst for more peace within said detour.

The world talks a lot about the glass half-full vs. half-empty.

Though if you were to remove the glass entirely as measurement, you would simply have a liquid sitting there in a puddle, wouldn’t you?

So if we take measurement out of the equation of how we view our life – is there really a detour at all?  

Who says your life course has to be on one specific road with XYZ things happening according to this “Plan” you have given yourself? 

This is where most people become entangled in a frenzy because they are utilizing their own parameters of measurement (much like the glass) to compare where they should be by when and how they should function by some other set of measurement tools.

Back to the glass analogy:  If you remove the glass and only have the puddle, if you had a shot glass you would see the puddle as your glass runneth over, right? 

Do if this were the scenario, wouldn’t you look at this as progress rather than delay or detour?

If you take a moment to examine what is happening now as a blessing and work with what is going on at this place, rather than jumping to the finish line, your perception can shift enormously. 

Taking a moment to examine said puddle that runneth over …

  • ·         What is most apparent in this moment of 'reflection?'

  • ·        You have an opportunity to create a ripple. What will you do?

  • ·         You can make your own waves with what you have. What does that look like?

Every splash and you have is something to work with that is yours – with no measurement, it is not technically a detour – it is a rest stop to take a moment to see what it is you have in your own personal inventory of tools.

Making peace with your present detour from this space, you can now ponder….  

  • ·         What can you do with it?

  • ·         Where can you go from here?

  • ·         What is it about what you have that you can enjoy working with now?

  • ·         How can you appreciate what is in front of you, right now for this moment that won’t be the same when your life changes again?

  • ·         Who are you in this present situation and how will you improve from it?

Taking the time to work with a peaceful link at your first perceived detour is really just the beginning of refining your journey to reflect how you are changing through the process.

We change constantly through every experience and are not the same person we were before we worked through obstacles or situations.  When we gain insight and strength, we continue to rework our life into a new shape of becoming challenged in new ways to develop our psyche, our soul and higher consciousness.

So the next time your human feels like things are not going the way you plan, reflect back on this post and remember that your own journey need not be measured, merely enjoyed and experienced.

Don’t forget to have fun and make a few splashes on the way!


Saturday, March 23, 2019


Everyone is talking about Self-Love.

However, there is a problem here with all of the “How-To” lists that are floating about.
Why?  Because there is one thing that NO ONE is talking about in the “How-To” sea of articles and stories and that is…The REAL WAY in how to make this effective as a daily habit, without putting yourself at the bottom of the list AGAIN.

So YES – let’s talk about this!  

Life is busy.  Everyone is busy wanting more time and claiming there is not enough of it.
For many of you who work in service industries, it is more challenging to nurture your emotional links if you are constantly taking care of other people.  Maybe you not only serve people in your daily work, but it may be that at the end of your day you are coming home to take care of elderly relatives, pets, friends, kids, plants, a side gig, a partner, maybe a side charity, and perhaps a neighbor or two. 

IF you look at the clock and tell yourself you are too ‘exhausted’ to nurture, your own emotions, and deal with self-care, then you are instantly in SURVIVAL MODE.
What happens when we run on “survival mode?”  

  • Do we really survive?

  • Are we burning the candle at both ends to a fast-aging, but slow-feed to death?

  • Is this where ‘fight or flight’ can take over your entire body and cell system?

I am not talking about just the health of your physical being leading to your body checking out and dying with disease. I am not only addressing your psychological mind where you allow it to spin out of control into a frenzy. 

What am I talking about in addition to the above?  I am addressing the ‘survival mode’ that slowly kills your soul’s passion, and your own spirit’s own vibrancy, too. 

This is where most humans fail in self-care because like a “fad diet” or ‘New Year’s Resolution’ – self-care on the surface level DOES NOT WORK.  You will fail to create self-sustaining rituals that work if you do not address what is really going on … on the inside.  
This is where I come in to assist, getting to the underlying causes of WHY.

So let us start here.  

First, we should look at all of the times you have had to ‘survive’ rather than merely live.  Until you address this - no amount of yoga, candles, music, massage, new wardrobes, closet purging, hot baths, self-help books, or even margaritas can help you. 

Those are just temporary fixes to get you through to your next meltdown.  They do not HEAL the real deal of what is going on.  If you look at all of your ‘survival mode’ times head on in pure confrontation, you will see that you have repeatedly put yourself into a pattern. 
Once we see the pattern that is ONLY YOURS and tackle it this way, you can then begin to understand your own pathway, not try to heal yourself through someone else’s cookie cutter remedy that is a one-size-fits-all.  

  • How many times do you feel you have stepped into ‘survival mode’ during stressful times?

  • What ways in the past have you managed your own stress?

  • What methods have NOT worked vs. which methods worked for “awhile?”

  • WHY do you believe the methods that worked for managing stress actually worked?  What is the reasoning behind the temporary success?

  • How did you remain accountable to yourself?

  • Where are your typical “jump on the bandwagon” fad themes in your life?  How frequently did you subscribe to “everyone is doing XYZ so I will try it too?” 

  • WHEN did you wake up to realize that “didn’t work” for you?  How far in did you actually go?

Think of it as the same cologne does not smell great on everyone, based on body chemistry.  Well, the same nurturing and ‘self-care’ methods DO NOT work for everybody.  The key here is to understand your go-to habits, your survival mode, what you instinctively do vs. what you desperately cling to because ‘you think it will help’ – but it is ultimately just another temporary fix. 

Seeing who you are and why you do what you do helps you become better at self-care.  If you do NOT address the above questions, AND UNDERSTAND your default habits, you limit your own success because you will fall back into the same pattern of not addressing self-care from the core.


Start by monitoring the times you have broken your own promises to yourself. 
List your reasoning/justifications.

Examine the frequency of what you claim to be the same excuse… 

  • How often do you use it and what is the reason behind it?  Are you self-sabotaging?  Or are you actually afraid you might succeed?
  •  Take a deeper look at when you are best at maintaining your own efficiency based on your own body clock.  Are you a morning person?  Are you a night owl?  When are you most productive? 

Try incorporating your own self-care sanctuary time for yourself during the time when you know you can best carry it out directly related to your productivity time.  Do it in baby steps, so you can train yourself to do it and increase the time.

One of the major pitfalls and reasons for failure is people try to bite off more than they can chew, ultimately setting themselves up for failure from the get-go. You will fail less at self-care when you understand that if you do this in small increments, you are actually retraining your brain little by little. By doing it this way it can eventually become a lifestyle shift, not a gigantic transformational shift/change you cannot sustain. This is more reasonable. 

Suddenly, you are now succeeding in smaller increments of self-care to be self-actualized into a new habit because you have actually retrained yourself to think and act differently in self-care rather than adopt an idea swiftly with no foundation for success. 

This is where we start. You have now started to address how you previously used to merely survive.

From here, you can begin to nurture within because self-care is becoming second nature.
You have the power to change your life from here, because you see what can be possible, rather than examining a list of failures or an endless loop of being stuck of broken self-care tactics.

What works for everyone else, may not work for you. But it is here you must understand your own lifestyle, your own body clock, in order to reset your own mindset.  It begins within.

Take a moment to start something small today in self-care.  It can begin with something as simple as the word “NO” to something that simply does not resonate within, to set a boundary.  It can be a moment of reflection, to give yourself time to think alone without noise and distraction or even doing a mundane household task that brings happiness and peace, because you are fulfilled with knowing you are doing something for yourself that removes negative energy as a ‘to do’ item that is weighing heavily on your shoulders. It will feel like a relief, just to accomplish something to ignite a self-care initiative and carry it through.

Once you begin to accumulate a sense of well-being, you are beginning to nurture the emotional survival links of your past to start new self-loving ways of being for your present day to improve upon what you identified as barely coping/breathing to now thriving in what you can do as the increments grow into a new habit. 

It is here, emotionally you can address the idea that you are nurturing yourself from within instead of heavily relying upon external quick-fixes that will fail you because they are not working with the reality of who you really are from the best space and place to succeed.

  • Take a moment to become friends with your past failures. 
  • Forgive yourself for not knowing or understanding yourself better.
  • Begin inventory of what you now know about yourself from how you answered the above questions. 

Once you begin to understand how YOU function in adopting new nurturing ways for your spirit and soul, you can tap back into your own emotional forgiveness factor, which ultimately sets up your psyche and your physical being for having a better foundation for self-care to truly nurture and begin within. 

Mind-body-soul-spirit healing is essential.  Doing only one component of it, put you at a disadvantage, because the other three areas are still in survival mode of functioning against the one you're trying to move forward.  If you get yourself aligned with all four pillars, you suddenly set yourself up for an opportunity to thrive with the proper base to springboard into success for self-care.

You deserve the opportunity to have something work better in your favor. 
Let the nurturing begin! :)


Sunday, March 17, 2019


A ruler and a pencil - these two lovely tools were probably staples in your childhood school desk at some point.  If you found these two tools also in your childhood home, they most likely also measured your yearly growth spurts on a wall or door frame, from year to year.

If you are nodding yes to this statement, you can probably still feel the ruler push down on the top of your head as the penciled mark was made, where you were reassured you were growing, and there was indeed, “progress.”

As adults, we have no real measurement ‘tool’ for progress and growth other than some form of ‘reward’ system like a promotion, or ego-feeding kudos for feeling accomplished. 

The most basic self-evaluation measurement tool most people utilize these days is crossing things off of a daily list to feel the sense of accomplishment, however there is no ‘formal’ ritual designed to acknowledge growing wisdom.  

The truth is, when we’re adults we are responsible for our own sense of progress, however most people keep the blinders on and keep going without stopping for a beat to acknowledge these ‘growth spurts.’

Ponder these growing wisdom questions to see what YOU come up with:

  • When was the last time you recognized you overcame an obstacle?

  •   How would you describe your problem-solving skills before the learning experience?

  •  In what ways would you say you have grown the most in times that tested your mettle?

  •  How would you approach a similar situation today with your acquired wisdom?

  • Which ways would you say you have you changed and grown the most as a person in facing challenges?

It is only in quiet time of reflection of looking back, do we see how much we have moved forward.  This is probably the most obvious way we can self-evaluate.  Sometimes this moment may surface when someone else is going through something that you have already been through, and it is here you see just how much progress you have made from that time.

If you are sitting in a state of “being confused” – did you know that one of the best ways to acknowledge your growing wisdom happens to be in the process of “finding the light” beyond your confusion?

This is what I call “lifting fog” and it is here you can discover your own growth.

Why “lifting fog?”  If you have the power to see through the fog’s existence to understand its greater purpose, you can appreciate the fact that it was there as a way to give you an opportunity to recognize your own growing wisdom to come out the other side of it to understand yourself better.  Here you can see how you overcame the obstacle and how you chose to problem-solve the task at hand in the moment or through a series of steps to deal with a challenge.

When our psyche is muddied by the situation, we often do not see that solutions are sitting there ‘waiting to be discovered’ once we do not give energy to the fog, but rather appreciate the fact we have the power to lift it from our state of confusion.

The process of doing this Lovely Souls, is an accomplishment and enduring through it, you can grow wisdom, because it is a learning opportunity to see how you would best approach a situation. There is no failure in trying and not having the outcome you desire, as it provides an opportunity to try again after a certain amount of time has passed to be better prepared to attempt with what you learned from the first try.

Too often, humans say…”It’s not working” and give up, but what they sorely miss is the chance to see how they can expand their own awareness and grow wisdom through the experience by pulling out acquired wisdom from other growth experiences to challenge themselves to create a new way to solve a problem.

  • What can you do in a situation when you lack clarity because there is too much fog?

  •  You can try to lift the fog creatively with acquired wisdom and grow in the process

  •  You can wait out the fog and use it for a time of reflection

·         You can note the ways you are growing through the fog, because the situation you are most confused about is really about an opportunity to SEE who you are in the process of being in it; and who you will become after you get through it.

The key here is to not panic, and instead look at the internal links you have within yourself as an opportunity to acknowledge and recognize your own wisdom that you have gained through every situation prior that you did not have before.

Here you will see just how temporary your situation is with the current challenge and you can chart your own self-evaluation progress as it is happening to see how far you have come with prior challenges.

This should be a self-empowering moment rather than one of despair and fertile ground within to grow even more wisdom! 

Happy growing!