Here I am. I stand before you raw and naked like this apple with my heart cut out on display for you to see.
This is not for dramatics. If you have read my August and September blogs here, you know these last couple of months, I have been on this non-stop locomotive... sharing pieces of my journey and in some of them, humongous raw pieces of my heart and soul. So I wanted to wrap up this month in a not-so-neat, somewhat chaotically creative organized package and just lay it all out in the open. Pretty or not pretty… it is what it is. *Note to self, surrender and let it be*
You may scratch your head in curiosity pondering why a Life Coach would do this…and the reason is because what I do in my coaching, is I encourage and ask for you to be brave. To me, it would be hypocritical, if I did not do that myself, eh?
Now for the naked part…
A while ago, I posted this graphic about the oil and water human and soul conflict.
Now I will tell you this affirmation was one that I was having to do myself as I pondered whether or not my August and September blogs would be ‘pieces of me’ displayed in rawness.
The OIL vs. WATER, and the familiar HUMAN vs. SOUL BATTLE is real for everyone.
For me, it’s somewhat of a chaotic battle because I have a third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh (my lucky journey number of ‘the seeker’) element of blurred lines…
I am a brand, an entity, a business, a professional who respects organization, planning, order, and some good old-fashioned tradition.
But I am also a burning pure heart creative inferno artist rebel who doesn’t believe in boxes, who hates convention and small-thinking, lives ferociously for the “Go Big or Go Home” stratosphere of swinging for the fences, shooting for the moon and dancing under said moonlight with the idea, the Universe is listening and creating a symphony of infinite possibilities.
Thus, TRADITIONAL vs. UNCONVENTIONAL in another battle of MIND vs. HEART.
Trust me…it’s not an easy journey to navigate inside of here… or outside “out there” which I was told in broadcasting school is also oxymoronic because while one is inside of a broadcast booth “in here” and refers to the “out there” – for the listener, you are in their car IN THERE WITH THEM, NOT “out there.”
Some may have just read this and say “True Dat…” but we didn’t have DATs (Digital Audio Tape) …. It was all mid-80s reel-to-reel grease pencil and razor blade editing with round potentiometers, so go figure.
PASSION vs. LOGIC… argh… bam, bam, bam *knocks head against said door* where “meh” opportunity knocks sometimes on a door I must kick down scuffing my heel, cursing it as I do (because they’re new and that defies practical convention) and then abandoning said shoes as I run barefoot to the shoreline.
It is here I take a deep breath in ‘knowing’ as the salt water kisses my toes and the sand crunches between them, I am allowed to scream “Ahhhhhhhhhhh” without judgment, criticism, and some might find this amusing. You see, integrity begs for me to be ‘true to my heart’ as some of you might have read in my ALL or NOTHING blog: https://linkronicity.blogspot.com/2017/08/your-link-to-all-or-nothing.html
Laugh if you SEE or HEAR YOURSELF in all of the above… I beg of you… because if THIS IS YOUR TRUTH the way IT IS MINE, then I want to know. It is not easy to HONOR YOUR TRUTH all the time but we cannot go through life denying it, hiding it nor ignoring it for the sake of logic at every turn. All that does in the end is it rips apart your ownership of your own life.
One of my challenges in doing what I do is for people to SEE their need to recognize what I just described here out in the open for you to SEE within ME ---- WITHIN THEMSELVES.
For that is where TRUTH resides… it is where your heart beats….and it is where mine knows what it knows.
I SIT HERE SAYING TO YOU… “I SEE YOU” – because I do.
We each come to terms with Reality vs. Fantasy. We each come to terms with Want vs. Need. We each come to terms with Obligation/Responsibility vs. YOLO (You Only Live Once). We each come to terms with the other item we often reflect upon at the end of the day of LIVING YOUR LIFE vs. DELAYING YOUR LIFE.
In the end on your death bed, you don't want regrets - everyone realizes this, but a human and a soul sometimes both ask simultaneously how to navigate earth life vs. external realms of 'going for it' - at what point is the line drawn and what terms do we place within said finite amount of time for infinite possibilities.
Hence the world of Choice vs. Consequences.... Ownership vs. Denial and yes, HAPPINESS vs. _____ (fill in the blank of whatever alternative buffet of emotions from your heart and soul you reconcile with not allowing yourself to be happy as you know you can be due to whatever fears you have.)
KNOWING vs. SURRENDERING TO UNKNOWN
Years ago, I had someone who once said to me, “Wow, you are brave to call yourself an artist because it means you must ‘own it’ and all the criticism that comes with it, particularly because you wear a professional hat in your other life, too.”
Um… yeah… isn’t that the sacrifice one makes for declaring any ownership of who they are?
*High-Five* to you if you have done this. And if you haven’t … then come talk to me, Linkronicity can help you … I’ll help you step into your true self.
If you are wearing multiple hats like a Mad Hatter (those who’ve read recent blogs will wink at my Disney reference), then you know declaring your ownership of being a multi-hyphenate, straddling fences, walking tightropes and spinning plates while smiling trying to have a good hair day is not easy… because that is HUMAN world stuff. The HUMAN world expects this of you whether you show up or not and it will slam you pretty hard, leaving you behind on the curb if your soul is too tired to do just that, because the world does not stop spinning for you to have a “woe is me day.” But as your coach I will tell you TO DO JUST THAT - EVERYONE and I mean EVERY ONE OF YOU must honor yourself to do that. It will do you wonders!!
Meanwhile, your soul just wants to fly in freedom but the human barriers and confinements of the gates and doors which allow you your entry pass first require you to take a trek around the Monopoly board first before you can pass go and collect $200.
These dues, we are all aware of… and while Millennials may get impatient or discouraged, lemme tell you….Gen-Xers like me, and Boomers who came before me will tell you “Chill out… the road is long.”
We know this, we have blisters from the pathway and have earned every darn one of the battle scars with a story to tell. For some of us, many stories…. For me, far too many to publish in the human sphere it seems. The Universe smiles and giggles when I buckle down to rein it in beyond the scope of what I have already created, as my late beloved agent of 23 years now ‘on the other side’ says in her warm, raspy reassuring NY street voice, “Don’t worry Doll, keep creating as your new agent is coming.”
Sigh. I am lovingly reminded what is done is done and what is written cannot be unwritten and is read by more eyes in the ethers and soul sphere than could ever be read in the human sphere if published…and it is still purposeful for the greater good.
My soul knows this. My human is like yours, in that it wants what it wants for the cycle of ‘completion’ of realization in the context of said present lifetime journey in my human vessel flesh puppet knowing time is not real for the soul but for the human – a reality check with a human made calendar.
The ideal for all humans and all souls is to have a purposeful existence, to matter and to make a difference in their inclusiveness of existence - this is the fence line of sorts to differentiate LIVING vs. EXISTING.
But it is this resting in the unknown I keep telling you about… remember?
RAISON D’ETRE - REASON FOR BEING vs. HUMAN DOING FOR SURVIVAL
This last bit I write just for you… the ones who create and choose to be brave.
First let me say, if you create and are brave, at some point, you must surrender to the idea that “people” will do with that as they choose to do with what you do. But this is not really a reflection or a comment on what it is that you do.
Still with me? Let me repeat that last note as it is a bit ‘out there’… oops, I’m sorry *hand slap* IN HERE… ;)
What people do with your bravery and what you create is not really a reflection or a comment on what it is that you do.
In other words… your being who you are with what you do as you must see yourself fit to do (just because) is your right to be YOU. Have some more coffee if that didn’t sink in.
I came to the realization after my Energizer Bunny Crash-n-Burn of blogging exorcising that this seventh part of the Human vs. Soul masochistic battle is fairly simple ugly truth in the same beautiful breath as it is complicated.
Let me break this down for you ‘creative types’ with A.D.D. and O.C.D. or both…
This mission, this madness, this ‘reason for being’ – this ‘raison d’etre’ is what gives you the drive to wake up in the morning with passion, with heart to create and do what it is you do.
It is the driving force which gives you your captain’s hat to steer your ship into this ocean abyss of what you know is the sea of your own possibility. It holds all promise on the horizon, all golden goodness of the comforting and paradise cradling sun. However, you also walk with with the mature and realistic mind that yes, there is sometimes darkness and seasickness and there are days Dramamine and ginger tea cannot remedy your nausea from some turbulent seas at times.
If you just *SIGHED* reading that.. then you know I SEE YOU.... or dare I say SEA YOU. ;) hehe
Yes, I know where you have been. All that seems poetic and romantic in the land of artistry and creativity also has the sobering realism of the rowing one must do when stuck with a make-shift oar because your last one caught on fire by no fault of your own. It's just how it goes some days.
You know it comes with sacrifice… you know it comes with elation, ecstasy, joy and fearlessness of freedom in the twisted reality of pain, tears and soul torture in being fully realized as being more than just what others see or know or feel or understand.
You know this looks like an ugly hot mess, but you also see with your vision, your passion, your idea of impactful awareness in creating something bigger than yourself, there is a beauty, a majestic and powerful, gazillion points of colorful rainbow light in every nuance of blood, sweat and tears you went through to BECOME EMBEDDED WITHIN YOUR CREATION. For this is your vision, and YES it is YOUR DREAM.
Am I right? If you are nodding like a bobble-head, smiling, welling up, or your heart is saying, “Yes, Stacey – oh YES, YOU DO SEE ME” – I smile at you and say, “Oh, you have no idea how much.”
Perhaps NOW you know WHY I had to write this… dangling participles and all like I usually do going against the perfectionistic tendency grain of spellcheck or red-pen editing and ramble like a non-stop train, because I have to step into my power and my own truth – SO YOU CAN STEP INTO YOURS.
I've shown you in many of my blogs that sometimes we cannot synchronize our messy madness TO MAKE SENSE OF OUR JOURNEY until we are on the other side of it. Hindsight sometimes delivers just that...
By example to say, “I can and so can you” – my pure heart goal is to share and provide for you a safe space to say, “I am understood where I can be me.”
My hope is that I have done that with this manic blogging I have done. My hope is that you have found pieces of yourself in self-discovery along on this ride I have invited you to join in this adventure, this journey called life and understanding every nuance of Linkronicity – Where Your Journey & Destiny Link™. My hope is you SEE that being YOU is beautiful.
While you are out and about as a human doing what it is you do, at the end of the day, you may question the authenticity of your ultimate pool of “like-energy.”
Even if you have a team, there are times in your creative purpose you may feel like a lone warrior and one-person army because of how your Mind vs. Heart, Human vs. Soul, Passion vs. Logic, Tradition vs. Unconvention exist within your Oil vs. Water trek. Just know as you navigate your Knowing vs. Unknown and your Raison D’etre Reason for being vs. Human Doing for Survival adventure – you have a place where you are safe, welcome and embraced for BEING EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
If my presence here somewhat provides a reassurance to you that your tribe exists and you can find solace in knowing this...*sigh.*
While we navigate the course of being human as a human being and being humans doing with precision to be careful not to only be a human doing as an escape from our humans being, (whoa, I know), then perhaps on this journey where your destiny is unfolding, we have embraced the truth of Raison D’etre and the truth of WHAT IT IS THAT WE DO and WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO… as we do.
Yeah, that was a run-on sentence, but my hope is you see beauty within this grammatical tragedy, giggle and smile at my human as my eyes see your soul with that “right on” nod.
I will end this with some humor… because life is funny.