I sit here staring at a blank screen… and if it were not for my typing words right now, my stare would be as blank with nothing to look at.
For all of you who are sitting in numbness in one hand, with a broken heart in the other with the Las Vegas tragedy, you are not alone.
First, I would like to send my prayers, heart, compassion, comfort, light, strength, sympathy, and support to all of the victims, their families and for EVERYONE dealing with the grief, pain and senselessness of this tragic event. There are not enough words… though this verbose one is gonna pull it out of her gut, mind, heart and soul to get at least a minimum of at least 1,000 of them out today, with the hope they may help somehow to unite everyone’s collective consciousness.
Every year is a tough year with the compiled acts of violence and tragedy… and that alone is a sad statement to type, because it seems we cannot go a year without something horrific happening.
There are many of you sitting there with conflicting emotions from anger, rage, sadness, deep grief, heartbreak and pain. There are many of you riled up in activism to speak out and stand up and feel the need to say something. There are many of you curled up in a ball filled with tears and anguish and unable to speak words. There are many of you shaking your head asking WHY WON’T THIS STOP?
There are many of you paralyzed in fear. Others are throwing their hands up wondering what is happening to our world. There are others still who are conflicted with so many emotions they don’t know exactly what to feel, and therefore are silenced in knowing what to do, how to help or what to say or how to express themselves.
Yeah… I get it… in more ways than you know and I join you, holding hands in this feeling of senseless confusion riddled with millions of questions and a busy brain, yet an exhausted heart and mind like yours --- sad at the thought that events like this seem to keep repeating.
And it’s tough… a really tough place to sit.
As a daughter, a sister, a friend, a human…my compassion, like yours deeply connects in wanting to comfort all those in pain with other humans… the victims, their families and all those who lost a loved one. My heart is broken with yours and I send all my deepest support and love.
As a soul, I fly above and watch this from a viewpoint of trying to “understand” with clarity in a sea of fog unable to make sense of all of this, and am finding difficulty in doing so.
As a concert producer for many years from rock, pop, jazz, blues, country and contemporary… I think about the words of one of my late mother’s favorite songs from artist Mac Davis who said in his song, “I Believe in Music” -
“Music is the Universal language and Love is the Key”…
And with that I am beside myself that such a tragic shooting happened in the setting where music brings people of all generations together for that purpose, yet an act of violence happened in this very place. I know that all those on stage and behind the scenes are feeling all kinds of emotions when performance and art is supposed to heal people – it’s why we gravitate toward it.
Thus, a confusing place to sit as to dealing with the event itself in feeling like the purpose now behind the shattered hearts is feeling displaced today.
Today, OSHA, Police, Fire Marshals and safety officials are needing to compartmentalize their emotions as are the doctors, nurses and tireless hospital staff providing service and care to all those affected. The entire city which is a hospitality mecca of food, spirits, and entertainment is shaken in questioning how it continues to be doing what it needs to do in order to contain order when there feels like there is none.
As a publicist who loathes social media for the idea that people will scrutinize anything anyone says with how they process grief and deliberately troll to thrash it, when people are in pain… I sit with my colleagues in wondering how words will get dissected incorrectly or misinterpreted.
It’s a double-edged sword here to make public statements that are politically correct in a time when raw, real, human emotion is naked, vulnerable within everyone and people are either going to act from their minds or their hearts and may not even be aware fully of what they are saying or how it is coming across... it's just that all of the above of what I just described comes out. Some are graceful with it, others not, most have the purest and most honest, loving intent, others act and speak out of pain or perhaps in not the graceful of ways.
Yet, I cannot sit here in silence staring at a blank screen and a blank page and say nothing, even if it appears the safest route to go or be or do or not do or whatever….. (those who followed that… you know what I mean).
The artist within wanted to create – and I grappled with some paint brushes and wanted to poetically channel my thoughts and feelings into something to make sense of the senseless as we all process emotions – thoughts, feelings, and walk the tightrope of activism in the same breath as helplessness in navigating the tragic terrain.
But all I could do was muster enough energy to do the work that was in front of me, burn my mouth on my hot ginger infused smoothie and somehow find a way to write a blog today. I needed to find a way at the very least connect with some human or soul so they know they are NOT alone in what they feel today. Let’s be honest - No one is feeling motivated on this #MotivationMonday and I’m not going to ‘go there’ … as I stand in truth in saying I’m not feeling very motivated today.
As a person who has been to Vegas over fifty times and walked that 9 ½ mile strip in 116 degree heat promoting clients and their events, films, books, music and shows… the idea that such a tragic event could happen here was challenging for me to wrap my head around when I woke up to the news this morning. Like you... I was in shock.
With that said, the life coach in me wants to be useful and purposeful in finding a way to help you all gather your scattered thoughts and feelings and say…IT’S OKAY TO PROCESS and necessary!
We all need to give ourselves permission to feel our feelings, think our thoughts and try to find our own sense of being, feeling and need for doing during times like these.
And while many of you may feel at a loss for words because there are far too many or some of you may feel at a loss for words, because something of this magnitude cannot possibly hold itself in a bunch of consonants and vowels to articulate your heart and soul…. I SEE YOU.
Whether we write things out or feel things out or see things through the journey, may I say that with every breath and blink and with every strengthening prayer and vibration of peace and love….My hope is we can unite this together to send out these vibrations to all those who need it. It is this place of compassion I sit with all of you as we pull ourselves together to be supportive in unity, and help with the healing process.
With that, I would like to send all of my heartfelt thoughts and comfort and remind each and every single one of you, that at the end of the day we are all humans and souls in a place of looking at life’s big picture.
The human in us asks WHY. The higher self knows there is a reason we don’t know and yet our human self will wrestle with that time and time again as one navigates through a place of pain and understanding the WHY… when we are still grappling with WHO and WHAT happened and WHERE and HOW.
For clarity purposes, I need to say this --- how you process what you process is for no one’s judgment. Read that again.
We all go through what we go through at the pace in which we go through it. Ignore the negative commentary on how you process your feelings – you are allowed to own them.
At a time like this, it is difficult and challenging to know what is appropriate in how to be respectful with exactly the right thoughts or feelings articulated. It is here I will ask you what your heart wants to say and let it be that, because the heart is never wrong when it comes from a place of love and compassion, honor and truth and above all peace and healing.
This goes across the board for everything – and though this year has been a very tough year like all the others with major tragedies, losses, horrific violent events, natural disasters and such, we must know that it is vital to uplift each other to unify in a place of collective strength.
Thank you for the opportunity to be real, raw and share. I welcome you to share and together let’s unite in hope and endurance in the spirit of love and comfort.