Many of you are searching for what is missing from your life. This video above starts the conversation in your own mind and heart and I hope it inspires you to figure out the answer to this question.
However, I have had numerous questions that have struck a pattern and I thought I would address it here.
Many of you do not feel like you have clarity on what is missing and in the video we address that it is because you’re not clear with what is missing because you don’t know yourself well enough to know what is missing.
If you check out the other blogs here to the right side of your screen in the September and October archives (there are thirteen of them), you will see how to get CLARITY and how to return to your CENTER to acknowledge what is inside of you. You will also see the root of HAPPINESS and SELF-WORTH.
These are just a few of the tools that you can use within yourself to get the foundation going – so that you are able to answer the question of what is missing from your life.
But first… let’s get to the root of the many sides of who you are.
You. Yes, YOU and the several other versions of YOU. We know who you are on the outside – the YOU that you present to the world.
But do you know who that person is?
Strange question, isn’t it? Well, how about an answer!
Describe yourself in a paragraph (the YOU that you THINK the world knows).
Take a look at it and read it out loud to yourself. Does this sound like you? Or is this a version of yourself you present out of protecting yourself and shielding out others from getting to know the real you?
Pretty interesting when you think about it that way.
Now take a look inside… the YOU that only YOU know, the YOU who goes to bed at night with thoughts rambling around in your head; the person who thinks, the person who feels, the person who you truly are.
Of course you choose to only share THAT person with a select few that you trust. However, the bigger question is, do you trust yourself enough to know if that person is safe to put out there without being judged?
That’s a huge decision, right?
Depending on where you are in your life, you will make the decision that suits you for any given situation.
But let’s step back just a bit and explore something else…
Ask yourself – is the outside you that others know and the inside you that you know all too well – if put in the same room, being truthful in how you speak, act and simply are – are they the SAME PERSON? Or are they DIFFERENT PEOPLE?
Chances are, there are fifteen different versions of YOU floating about. Did you realize that?
If you've ever seen the Michael Keaton movie, "Multiplicity" (1996) - each version of his clone had a different persona, however each version of himself became more diluted the more versions of himself that were produced.
THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU when you show up as all these different people in your various scenarios of life. Each version is less and less who you really are.
Human beings put on different hats and they are multiple personalities when put in a set of circumstances.
For fun, let’s gather around your holiday dinner table! WHO IS THAT PERSON?
Would your co-workers recognize the person sitting at the holiday dinner table?
If you are walking down a scary, dark street late at night – is the person walking down the street the same person who relaxes on a lawn chair in the backyard?
What’s the point of these examples? The point is if you are in a relationship – your friend, romantic partner, or family member don’t all recognize the same person you think you are.
WHY? You wear a different hat.
But the bigger, deeper question is WHY you wear different hats.
Chances are, you don’t really know who you are.
You know who you think you have to be.
Expectation of showing up as yourself (in various forms) is something only YOU place upon yourself, because you’ve conditioned your brain to believe that this version of YOU is accepted in _______(fill in the blank) environment.
Let’s look at animals. Animals who are familiar with their environment act a certain way – they are King or Queen of their domain and for the most part feel comfortable in said environment.
Take that same animal out of that environment and suddenly insecurities start to show up.
Most animals like to sniff around, walk gingerly, and scope out their ‘safety zone.’ Once they become familiar with this new territory, they build confidence. Then they are confident to be themselves.
Need a more relatable example?
Try moving with a pet. If you haven’t been too busy unpacking boxes, you may have observed that a cat won’t come out from under a bed. Or a dog will bark at absolutely every new noise.
They don’t know how to project another side of who they are so they either hide or they defend.
Think about that for a second.
Now as humans, if you hide or defend …these two behaviors DO NOT SERVE YOU because they prevent you from BEING THE REAL AUTHENTIC VERSION OF YOU.
This is the key answer as to why you don’t know yourself well enough to identify your MISSING LINK in life because the MISSING LINK in your life is actually your own behavior of hiding or defending the version of you that is NOT REALLY YOU.
Whoa. Heavy stuff, eh? Yeah.
Ready to have your mind blown even more?
That entire set of bolded paragraphs are the REASON for every single problem in your life.
Yes, it’s true.
If you have not shown up addressing the real you inside, how is it even possible you can be the real you with your parents and other family members, your friends, colleagues, neighbors, romantic partner or children?
The answer is, you can’t.
They only know one piece of you - not all the versions of you. So they are only having a relationship with one part of you – not all the parts of you.
Yes, it is. So if the MISSING LINK in your life involves anything in your life that is connected to people, the root cause is knowing who you are in all the many arenas in your life and how you show up in those arenas.
You want your life to be great, right? That’s up to YOU.
But if you don’t know who you are, how can you possibly show up when it arrives?
Maybe it already has, but because only one side of you showed up for it, the other fourteen sides of you could not – SEE IT, HEAR IT, FEEL IT, KNOW IT OR EXPERIENCE IT! You were blindsided when it showed up and missed it entirely because the MISSING LINK was YOU all along!
Get connected in knowing who you really are. The only person who can do the job is you. You have to show up to do it first and be honest with yourself – brutally honest and look inside and re-read the paragraph you wrote about the YOU that you think the world knows.
Then compare it to the version of you that you really truly are. If they don’t match up, this is where all the work begins.
You have the power to change it and once you do, LINKRONICITY will start to naturally begin its true pathway for you to LINK back to the authentic self that is still there within.