Monday, January 8, 2018

LINKING TO THE 'TIME IS UP' LANDSCAPE - A starting place to continue the dialogue about sexual harassment, diversity, and equality

Where. Do. I. Start?  This isn’t a question I ask out of cluelessness, but one I ask because the topic is bigger than me, bigger than a blog, it is a movement that is transforming and creating change in real time.

THUS… the starting point for writing about it transcends comprehension.

However, even in questioning where I start, it is glaring to me that I cannot sit here and NOT write something. 

Brain hiccup temporary paralyzation is not an excuse to stand in a position of offering the opportunity to open a discussion.  My throat chakra is itching and I must use my voice.  My life has been about communication, thus… I must speak.

My hands are antsy. Asking to be Divinely Guided to say what needs to be said, “God, please use me” is where I start. I am asking with pure heart intention to begin communication and healing, resolve and movement for all to be channeled correctly for “total inclusion.” 

This is A PEOPLE RISING year.  As I have stated 2018 is 2+0+1+8= 11 (Destiny) 1+1=2 (Peace).

This 11/2 Vibration is Destined for Peace to BECOME.  We must all rise to the challenge…Women AND Men, POC, LGBT, disabled (handicapable) – for equality.
It is going to TAKE ALL OF US to CREATE CHANGE. We must all actively participate.
The many “souls” who are victims – both women AND men who are objectified, harassed, verbally, emotionally, and physically assaulted on a daily basis – THIS IS FOR YOU.
Everyone has a story.  

Sadly, there is NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON IMMUNE from the bullying, harassment, abuse, or victimization due to misused manipulative power.

Read that again.  You may think you have NOT been affected, but I will correct your perception with truth… at some point in your life/career… you have been affected.
Manipulation, harassment, mental cruelty, discrimination, threats/abuse, and assault happen on a variety of levels in the work force in ALL INDUSTRIES and in every country in the world. 

Whether you have been affected directly or someone in your family or your friend circles have been affected, like a cancer that metastasizes, it is important to understand WHY we are having this dialogue right now and why people are RISING to speak up and stand up.  

Now let me rattle your reality a little bit…If you’ve been given compliments about your appearance at work by people in powerful positions over your employment, wake up – you have been affected.

Granted, while you cannot help it if people find you attractive, objectification, which may seem like a compliment at the time is borderline troublesome as it relates to income. 

While this may feed your human ego, there is a fine line crossing of disrespect here if you are being made to feel like a piece of eye candy, and there is some sort of ‘power’, which affects your stream of income and/or employment – YES, it is very tricky navigation here. 

THIS is WHY harassment is confusing.  Some blow off a compliment as just that without thinking twice about it.  Suddenly that compliment becomes a manipulative job tool, a touch, a cornered scenario, and confrontation.

As a private one-on-one life coach counselor and a counselor for businesses regarding HR fair practices and employee emotional well-being… I feel a responsibility in sharing what I am sharing so that you can understand how many do not understand what is happening as it happens and mentally or emotionally try to file something away until a trigger brings it to the surface. 

THIS is how it starts and these are the earliest of red flags that pave a pathway for predators to try to manipulate you, where the human psyche believes some sort of kindness/trust is being built, and then this is where your ‘set-up’ begins which then leads to deeper troubling waters. 

Now is our time to rise  HERE WE GO. 

Starting this dialogue about rising is easy when it comes to the idea of taking a stand for something.  

However, starting this dialogue about rising is not easy to TRY to contain in a blog without it turning into a BOOK, particularly from the place where I sit in taking a stand, so perhaps I must share first the seat where I sit and stand with my katana/pen hybrid resting in my hand.
It begins with responsibility in action and also to contribute and participate from where you sit, and what you know and to ask the questions you do not know. 

Of course, this is no easy task and I wish to be clear and comprehensive. 

However, let me be CLEAR NOW - this is not going to be concise, or organized, so my OCD perfectionistic organizational self apologizes for this ‘concise tidy package’ NOT happening – in HONOR of being ORGANIC and not censoring for my free spirit self.  I am just going to let it all pour out, naturally. 

Sooo. It may not be a pretty masterpiece, but that is not my intention.  My intention is to start a mindful conversation and to provoke thought while informing and educating. My purest heart and soul intention is to promote peace and understanding, and to breed clarity in communication and to begin a dialogue.

What domino effect happens from the ripple of interaction, I cannot psychically predict, however as an intuitive empath light worker, I know that I must do something.  Thus, I will trust in what I have always believed.  If I can make you think, feel, or start talking, inform, educate, inspire, enlighten or entertain new ideas, that is what I am here to do.  I am not here to offend anyone whether you agree or disagree with where I sit and from what I stand for. 


My PR days of writing only 400 words-or-less contained press release constraints are not present in this task. Nor is my journalism hat’s editor going to nudge me to cram only an 800 word (because that’s all we have editorial space for) limitation on me.  

So please be patient. This might be long.  Heck, who am I kidding, this is gonna be long…. So grab a snack.  

Grammar-police…put away your red pens, please. I’m going to write like I talk because there is no censorship here, MY TRUTH is going to be that… truthful. 

Thus, we’ve started and WHY you may see how challenging it has been for me to begin. I will over-explain as to not be misunderstood. 

I am a person who has been ‘the media’ and have ironically gone from catcher to pitcher as a publicist/media relations in … (gasp) -  the entertainment industry.  

Which as of late has been BOO-RAY and HOORAY for Hollywood simultaneously with the sad mask (what has gone on) and smiling mask (liberation in using one’s voice for truth spoken) in what has been revealed, yet now has opened the gateway for enlightenment, a spotlight and TRUTH to surface.  


Right now, I’m putting all my gambling chips on the hope square, as we begin sorting out the pieces of what all of this means for transformation for the greatest and highest good. 

I will tell you that what we are seeing in the media does not isolate itself to the entertainment or broadcast industry. Having worked in thirty-three different industries - YES harassment, inequality, and abuse exist in every industry.  

While my soul knows no obstacles, nor glass ceiling, and the human vessel flesh puppet my human deals with - I do understand the obstacles better sitting in this space, as does every human and soul that has faced discrimination and harassment. Present company included. 

I have known people who have changed their last names deliberately on their resume, because they do not want to be discriminated or stereotyped for what the HR person may presume their ethnicity being (both in proactive and reactive modes).  I have known people who have changed their first names to be ‘either/or’ gender so they are not discriminated against when the resume sifting begins and so they don't get hired on the basis of being harassed.  And I have known people who have omitted dates on their resume to prevent ageism discrimination. 

Both men and women, all ethnicities, ages, and all sexual identities and yes even disabilities have had to contort themselves for employment to get a fair shot at just having a job.

Some people have fudged their own health, because they believe they cannot get a job because said job comes with a benefits package and therefore they are a high risk to insure, so they won’t be considered for employment. 

THIS is already too much contortion just to become employed…getting to this place has been a summit to climb for more than half of America.  With cities shutting down factories, conglomerates merging with full slate layoffs, brick and mortar big businesses and small businesses closing with online business taking over – there have been many uphill challenges for most of the country.

Add in the U.S. housing crisis and collapse, as well as outsourcing and well, a long list of employment challenges for most of the world with global warming, social, governmental, and ecological issues – getting through hurdles on this front is hard enough. 

Enter harassment once you get there… Well, this is WHY we need to have a conversation.
What I just wrote applies to the EVERYDAY WORKING WORLD.

In the entertainment/media industry, it is a tad more complicated.  Here, you are judged for your looks and either given a job or not because of how you look – too tall, too short, too attractive, not attractive enough, too thin, too fat, too old, too young, and/or the wrong ethnicity. It is objectification in the biggest sense. Yes, age come into play for employment consideration, which seems like a complete 180 degree turn from regular employment ethics and logic. 

Do you think this only applies to acting?  NO. 

However, most are familiar with the casting world. In casting, the request could be to cast someone sultry, sexy, or alluring to fit a role for hire.  One may be asked to audition in a bathing suit – and this of course would never fly in Corporate America or the blue collar world as appropriate ‘employment consideration ethics.’ 

While this seems oxymoronic to have in a casting notice for actual employment, and income dependent on being said description while still trying to be compliant in business ethics and guidelines, this is where ‘because it is an acting role’ there is some sort of blurred line for appropriateness and is confusing to someone NOT in the industry.

Though it is not just the entertainment industry – sometimes in other service industries, like say the airlines industry, there are height parameters for employment consideration, which some might consider discrimination. Some food service places, fitness/health facilities, and many other industries require a certain look or physique. 

In the business world, sales people or front office people need to look a certain way or represent a company through some ambassadorship “visual” acceptability… and objectification exists here. 

However, with what may appear to be ‘inequality’ on the hiring/employment front for various industries, make no mistake: THIS DOES NOT MEAN sexual harassment is invited, accepted, appropriate or tolerated.

But like everything else, there are questionable things and ‘fine lines’ and certain ‘exceptions to the rule’ of standards, practices, appropriateness for which many employers have been neglectful of and allowed to ‘slide’ without taking appropriate action.  
Gender is an issue, too… not just in equal pay, but opportunities. Add in ethnic diversity (which is trying to improve, but still has a long way to go) and well, we have a lot of work to do.
Harassment comes in all different shapes, formulas, and sizes of manipulation, it isn’t just sexy comments and groping, and you need to be aware of inappropriate behavior on all levels here.

Our communication dialogue about what is going on today needs to be opened up with an UNDERSTANDING of what harassment looks like. 

This is not as simple as educating a child how to report if someone touches them inappropriately in their private place.

When it comes to talking about harassment, discrimination, and equality… we are dealing with an entire array of ‘not your typical profile’ cookie-cutter controlling antics.
Information is power.

However, so is EDUCATION.

This is where we are all seriously sitting in our place of reality. 

First let’s talk sexual harassment.  

  • ·         Where did you first learn about sexual harassment/general harassment?

  • ·         How old were you? What did you learn?  Did you first experience harassment being bullied?

  • ·         Did you learn about any of this from your parents or in the home?

  • ·         Did you learn about this in school?  If so, to what degree?

  • ·         How many places have you worked in your lifetime where HR enforced watching a sexual harassment video for you to know what it was and how it was defined?

  • ·         Did you ever experience it and report it?   If so was anything done about it? 

  • ·         How do you define respect and how does it differ from what you believe others to understand what that means?

  • ·         Do you believe in men’s and women’s roles in the work place and in the domestic space also changing the dynamic in the social space outside of work?

I am sitting on this funky timeline birth cusp of Generation X and the final dovetail of The Boomer Generation… raised with one set of ideas based on society’s perception, navigating life through a transformational set of progressive ideas, while simultaneously juggling sexism, ageism, racism, sexual harassment, and objectification.   

As a Life & Business Coach having a neurological understanding of human behavior through psychology, adds more layers, with a spiritual comprehension of the Universe and how we are all challenged to RISE. 

Understanding it from a soul level helps a lot to understand pain, victimization, emerging out the other side through healing, and also finding justice within the idea of soul contracts to 'make right' and educate, teach, learn, grow and overcome. However, we live in a human world and sadly have to navigate our truths on Earth in the human sphere and the 'process' of time, real life, evolution is a long process.

Sadly here, the 'magic of television' cannot fix things overnight. "Instant" change doesn't happen by waving a magic wand, HOWEVER, utilizing voices for change AND implementing actual boundaries for change as well as accountability for change and action IS where we start.

Where I help HUMANS… is how to use their voice to be true to their own ethics, values, principles and internal integrity and devotion to who they really are.  I help them understand how they’ve emotionally processed their injustices so that the healing can begin.

What we need to realize is that PTSD and ‘blocking out’ trauma affects the total mind-body-soul-spirit well-being. I deal with this all of the time. 

Some people have conditioned themselves to believe they are ‘okay’ with harassment because to them, it is attention they need; while for others it is normal as they grew up in a household where it existed as acceptable... meaning their own parents told them to keep quiet and 'not rock the boat.'  Thus 'reporting' remains hushed.

If a child is told to be silenced and not use their voice, they will allow and permit things to happen and believe it is okay to not have rights. They will grow up to believe they cannot create change. This is where we need changes, too.

People in 'authority positions' have power. We need to understand HOW it is misused.

These are my toughest cases to coach, because individuals are buried in a toxic pool and in their minds, they 'don't want to rock the boat'- so they remain isolated in this unhealthy place. But I take my job seriously as it is to help them SEE IT and set firm boundaries so healing can begin. 

This is tough for those in the industry. 

Add in the complication of having been a model and talent where objectification, discrimination and rejection were hard lessons learned, the average person who is a counselor, may not have an understanding as I do having walked in these shoes. 
While this gives me better insight knowing a client’s pathway, it doesn’t mean it is an easy road to help them overcome their pain. Nor does it easy to help them compartmentalize the varying set of parameters that exist within different industries and HOW they handle complaints and injustices.

THIS is WHY the voices you are hearing now, have been sitting in silence for so long. No one kept quiet to protect anyone, some just did not know if their case was isolated, random and/or some freaky incident or part of an industry which had different rules one must follow to be employed. 

LET US BE CLEAR: Harassment is NOT acceptable and should not be tolerated in ANY industry. 

But first, our problem lies in understanding ‘what the heck’ sexual harassment is.

Let’s consult the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission:

Sexual Harassment
It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.

Deep breath. YOU ARE HERE READING THIS AND YOU ARE NEEDING A STARTING POINT. Complicated? Yes. But not so much so we can’t start TALKING. 

Let’s talk about gender roles, gender equality, generational, demographic/psychographic cross-over, old-school, new school, the censored, the brave, the quiet and now vocal… we have a lot of ground to cover, eh?

How do we possibly begin to UNDERSTAND what has been embedded in the HUMAN PSYCHE to understand how men and women function together in the work place, in the social space, in the domestic space and beyond?  

It is constantly changing and our understanding has been fairly limited to images we have been shown unless we dig a little deeper. 

Perhaps we should start somewhere…

DC Comics characters Lois Lane and Clark Kent are probably the best examples we have today of women’s roles and men’s roles in both the personal and working world space evolving through space and time.  The professional sphere, the personal and romantic sphere… this has been a complexly laid-out dynamic with power, achievement, recognition and equality up for mass discussion. There is only one difference… Lois is not wearing superhero cape. Clark was not her superior, he was her equal as a reporter. He did not harass her. But he had a romantic interest.

So let’s start here. Fictional characters help us SEE OUR REALITY. 

If we were to do a random street interview today, most people would be able to tell you that Clark Kent the reporter, and Superman the superhero are the same person with different identities.  

But few would be able to tell you that Lois Lane got her start without Superman in the 1940s, defeating bad guys and gaining her own recognition of front page stories without help from her superhero.  She was strong.

With time, we saw her morph into being identified as Superman’s girlfriend and becoming his wife, then just when some would assume she’d be like June Cleaver, she was now the liberated working woman who could technically in her own right be Super Woman as she became less-reliant on Superman.

WHY am I bringing this up?  Gender roles have had the back-and-forth switcheroo from putting women in the position of power and equality and then when we have personal romance enter the picture, there is a mixed message in flirtation vs. harassment.

As the women’s liberation movement took hold and the advertising industry went running wild, we saw ads from the 1970s Virginia Slims “We’ve Come A Long Way Baby” from Leo Burnett Advertising Agency out of Chicago. We would see TV ads from Charles of the Ritz “The Enjoli Woman.” 

Advertising suggested that women could BE ALL and DO IT ALL and here it was declared the options for career and family or one or the other were choices. 

For men, this was and still continues to be a confusing time having been brought up by grandmothers and mothers from the June Cleaver era where Virginia Slims and Enjoli women and even the Lois Lane Super Woman of super journalist, girlfriend/wife and career juggler. 

In the early 80s Michael Keaton’s “Mr. Mom” and “Multiplicity” movies changed the game for men who also became the male version of Enjoli’s multitasking do-it-all role playing.  

The mainstream arts at that time were acknowledging it was time for men to juggle it all, too and media took notice that many men were silently struggling with the juggling act themselves as things changed.  

What is being 'thrown' at audiences both in advertising, media and the arts is the 'juggling act' of work and personal life.

There are many problems with this.  

Gender roles have blurred, switched, crossed-over and yet, in some parts of the world have remained stuck where the time machine cannot travel forward, and today, some are finding it is difficult to navigate this terrain.

When The film Working Girl came out in the late 80's... Tess McGill's line "I have a head for business and a body for sin" - when she falls in love with Harrison Ford's character, Jack - viewing audiences see romance/love in the work place line blur.

In the film 9 to 5... women pool together to get retaliation on their boss.. who of course was inappropriately using power.

If we look at these two films in contrast are we able to see Harassment vs. flirtation lines which are differentiated by 'welcomed' vs. 'unwelcomed' ?

How we begin to understand as a culture as it relates to income, power, and control is something we need to discuss not just in the work place at work, in social situations and the blurred lines of what happens outside of the office.

We need to understand how people can get tangled in compromising situations and positions that put them in harms way if they do not understand what harassment is and how to navigate their professional sphere and their personal sphere and declare where the lines need to be iron clad in personal space. We also need to know what companies support whistle-blowing without ramifications of doing so, leading to unemployment... this is an area that is scary for employees (the whistle blowing part), and why certain incidents do not get reported at the time.

Having actions dismissed upon reporting doesn't help.

Actions misconstrued and miscommunications taken out of context also do not help.

This is difficult terrain for most companies to enforce when it comes to CLARITY OF COMMUNICATION and what THEIR tolerance is.  For some companies, flirtation around a water cooler is harmless until it gets out of hand.  For others, it is not tolerated at all.  These inconsistencies also give off mixed messages for victims as to 'what to do' or 'not do' about something when it happens to them.  It also sends the message to the predator that in some companies, they have more freedom to behave inappropriately or that it is accepted, when it is definitely not - it is just that standard operating procedures and education tools are either non-existent or policies are flimsy in many companies. 

We need to have clarity of communication and context. We need to understand what the word 'no' means, we also need to understand what people identify as 'mutual consent' and have the clear definitions of what that means. Some people have 'different ideas' of what they view as right or wrong, appropriate and not appropriate.
Add in generational, cultural, and the blurred lines of flirtation vs. harassment in terms of segmenting behavioral dysfunction, when work and ‘after hours’ social functions blend the worlds, and we are sitting in a massive pool of confusion.

THE ANSWER?  BOUNDARIES. We need to define boundaries.

However where work life and personal life merge … boundaries get messy. 

When the TV Show “Mad Men” took us back to the 1960s, we saw the employment sphere of Don Draper and what men and women’s roles were in the work place.  It was a different time, and women’s roles were defined by the parameters of that time as were men’s. 

Passive-aggressive push-pull power plays and submissiveness with office taboos painted a picture of tension and power seduction.   

When the feminist TV Shows “Murphy Brown” in the late 80s, and “Ally McBeal” nearly a decade later in the late 90s made their way into the homes of viewing audiences, we saw a different shift. Even though the work place dynamic changed a bit with men and women’s executive positions and rankings, we saw men functioning with less power and prowess, as well as less domination.

Socially, we got to witness fraternizing which in some instances steered toward personal friendships, relationships and romances.

Again…complexities which continue to muddy waters.  

We can continue siting examples of progressive gender role shifts in the work place for men and women in transformation but when we talk about harassment, abuse, and equality in work setting examples, in most situations they’ve been provided as entertainment intrigue value not EDUCATIONAL VALUE.

It is imperative to start exploring catalyst change positions of examples whereby we UNDERSTAND how lines get blurred and why people have different ideas about what harassment is/isn’t.

Let me be the guinea pig siting some personal examples. 

I’ve waited A LONG TIME… a really long time for this movement which has arrived.
My roots are in broadcasting with controversial FCC license in hand. Launching my career at a time when there were only Asian women as “tokens” – one on each news desk of the major networks, which came with it, many racist and sexist ‘me love you long time’ Geisha/Concubine discriminatory disgusting commentary tossed my direction at me during auditions and photo shoots.

I deliberately chose be freelance out in the field as a reporter for cable and TV host on local/regional UHF and for government. It was here where I believed I was not expected to be a puppet-talking head for EOE sake. I wanted to be hired for the integrity and merit of my skill, not because ‘they just needed an Asian on a desk.’  Was I hallucinating to want to believe this? 

While some may respect WHY I did this, many very successful business people (who are leaps and strides ahead of me now) think my move was ‘stupid’ because when there is opportunity, you are supposed to grab it with both hands. I’m an over-achiever and a seeker who is not opposed to grasping opportunity, however my vision with my soul wanting more than a hamster wheel road to emptiness beckoned beyond what doors were ajar.    

My late talent agent Marian of twenty-three years who believed in me was a maverick herself. She deliberately threw me out there to the wolves to defy the norm of casting. Whether or not I was cast wasn’t the point, the point was to shake up the idea of the industry to stop labeling people by casting notice. If they wanted the Barbie, she sent me instead and it was her way to make a statement to stop creating molds, it was time to break them. She was always very clear about equality, breaking typecasting as to 'when to walk out' if something seemed seedy/shady or misrepresented.

I believe if she was still alive today repping me, we’d be standing together with this movement to open more dialogue about equality, changing perception, dealing and attempting to repair and heal the reality.  She herself had to fight the good fight in an industry where being a boutique agency and being a woman-owned business was tough enough. I am sure she had her own harassment issues she had to deal with to boot. 

Recently, at a live event I was reunited with male colleagues from the circles I was once a part of in 'the big leagues.'  I helped promote making broadcast groundbreaking history many years ago with benchmark moments.  My human sat back looking at the choices I had made after leaving that arena, watching them speak from the stage that I should have been speaking on myself, sharing a perspective they may not even understand, unless they too at some point endured it themselves somewhere.

A woman had brought to my attention that I had been a maverick to have even dared to enter the ol’ boys club scene and that even though my balloon did not fly to where theirs was now, and twenty years later as women still fighting for equality for opportunity, I still kicked open doors. I am proud that I did not sell my soul. However, this is not a consolation prize knowing many of my sisters (and a few brothers) in this business were put in positions where they were victimized with no voice or choice in being pigeonholed.

Though my soul still does not regret trying to find my way for equality, then finding my exit at a time when the industry was still evolving.  Having your own company where you are the boss doesn't mean that you encounter inequality or harassment any less.  Sure, you have more power to 'walk away' which is always nice, but you have other issues and waters to navigate trying to sift through more fray of understanding who is even safe to do business with.

With businesses always in flux since the dot-com surge, an economy which changes rapidly and something which don't seem to change at all, no one could have known that today we would be seeing the long-awaited movement with voice demanding change.  At the time no one other than a small handful of other female minorities who were being discriminated against (and harassed) in the same way understood what was going on.  At the time, I thought choosing the road less traveled to success would mean sexual harassment would be lessened on my pathway.  I was wrong. Removing myself from job opportunities in the bigger leagues looked no different than the smaller ones. Jobs were even tougher to come by to be a storyteller.   

By the time I hit the bigger leagues, fighting my own stereotype (and typecasting) in the entertainment industry for a couple of decades, both in front of and behind the lens and mic – the working world became more interesting as the dot com evolution took hold.

Does it change things?  Yes and No.  This gets trickier than picking up a single grain of arsenic rice with recycled chopsticks from a reclaimed wood source, adhering to a gluten-free diet, without totally turning a blind eye to one’s culture, which is normally stereotyped in a tech world.  I invite you to digest that for a minute. For those of you who know me and my full career journey, you may smile at how I compiled all that into one blurb. 

There is consciousness.
There is awareness.
There is experience. 
There is wisdom.  

My eyes have been to the entertainment media circus. I have seen and worked with the elephants, inclusive of the ones in the room people are using their voices to speak of, and the ones PETA and are trying to protect via animal rights, Thank you. 
One time in the events industry, I could not make a meeting because I had a doctor’s appointment. I had just had a breast cancer scare and was going in for a second screening.  My client actually stated to me “Well, I hope you do have cancer, because then you can get plastic surgery to finally get what God did not give you.” 

This my friends is HARASSMENT. (I feel like I am narrating Sesame Street)…
Yes, SEXUAL H-A-R-A-S-S-M-E-N-T… perhaps NOT in the context you thought it was, eh?  But it is. 

In the same organization the CEO told me that my problem in not getting paid what I am worth has to do with being Asian. He stated because my culture dictates achieving too much, so if I just pulled back the way that I work as a taskmaster and work-half a$$ed, and did less, I’d be working along the lines of what I was being paid… obviously, you can see this kind of ‘communication’ is problematic as well.  To make matters worse, the 75 year-old man had made a direct declaration he wanted to take me out on his boat.  Hell-to-the-NO. 

This my friends is called DISCRIMATORY HARASSMENT as well as MENTAL CRUELTY to undermine one’s abilities.  This combination special involved putting the minority in her place to avoid fair practice, then piled on the topping of SEXUAL HARASSMENT by inappropriate line-crossing.

Yes… THIS IS WRONG in more ways than one.  

What we need to understand (I am the guinea pig to help you SEE) – is that your everyday dealings in the work place have this what I call ‘this doesn’t feel right/good’ red flag radar.
We as humans/souls need to wake up our radar to UNDERSTAND what is NOT OKAY.

What you’ve just seen is NOT OKAY – even in the form that you would not expect.  

These two examples are just funky enough to show you, what you think harassment is and what you’ve been brought up to believe what it is vs. what actually happens is a complex scene here. It’s not so simple to understand.  

YES, it is easy to know “ICK, this feels horrible and is wrong” – but labeling harassment and the kind that it is in terms of nature and comprehending the identification of gender, race, equality and that of a sexual nature… harassment has many compartments. 

With my own spiritual evolution navigation as human and soul championing for ‘diversity’  and ‘equality’ – perhaps you can understand the challenge that this is one funky katana I am holding in one hand, with a peace sign in the other. This is my Alanis Morrisette “Hand in My Pocket” tightrope.  

While none of this is to be tolerated, we have to ask the question if we are navigating our life within ignorance/lack of education or deliberate acts to belittle, demean, harass, manipulate, and undermine by those in POWERFUL positions who have rampantly been able to get away with their inappropriate behavior.

It is also my naked truth in the light of a “time’s up” where that is the ONLY nakedness we are looking for these days…T-R-U-T-H and (sing it, Aretha) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 

My hope is that this dialogue continues and that we’ve only just begun to change things. And my friends, I am NOT DONE talking about this as my own personal mission as a scribe is to promote diversity, equality and inclusion with my literary and entertainment production works to inspire more dialogue moving forward.  

I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK – so please send me your thoughts at or or those here at Google +, please leave your notes and comments let’s begin the dialogue.  If you want to DM me at any of the social networks, please feel free to do so. I will reply or perhaps do a video or a Part Deux blog.

I stand with everyone who is here to create change and bring about awareness for progress to ensue and wear my badge of courage and bravery united with those who want to make the world a safer, better, more ethical place to work, thrive and create powerful, impactful, life-affirming works. 

My hope is that together we can make huge strides to develop a better communicative understanding of what will need to change and not be tolerated. 

Let’s continue talking and continue taking steps forward, onward and upward.
Stay aware and be open to learning.  Everyone has a story to share. Pay attention.