How do you define joy?
How do you define fulfillment?
How do you define happiness?
If you were to sit down and ask yourself these questions,
how would you answer? You would see that
the ultimate contentment and happiness could be found if you break down what it
is that each of these mean to YOU in YOUR LIFE.
As a child, it was natural to please others and ‘go along’ with
the idea of what happiness actually means without ever addressing the
attachment to the stimulation of this emotion.
Over time, it became a conditioning of what that truly
meant.
As an adult, when you start to figure out who you really are
and what resonates within you, you start to discover that happiness is an
inside job and it is only YOUR definition of it that can begin to dissect its
meaning.
Yesterday, I overheard a couple arguing loudly in a store
about what Christmas present would make their child happiest. The man started
screaming angrily at his wife stating she didn’t really know her own child and
what brought him joy. He knew Xbox gaming would make his son’s Christmas. She yelled back loudly and accused him of not
knowing his son because he never spent enough time with their child and if he
paid attention, he’d see their son was starting to have an interest in music
and a guitar would make his Christmas.
As you read about this conversation that was overheard, what
would you decide?
Perhaps the boy would answer that what would make him happiest is
to not have his parents fighting all the time and both of them to actually have
a conversation with him and spend it being happy as a family like his other friends.
Maybe his answer would be not to have others ‘assume’ what
makes him happy and actually ask him what does.
Happiness is our own choice. It is not a guessing game of assuming what
makes others happy if you don’t know what that even means for yourself.
As we celebrate the 50th anniversary of Peanuts,
let’s take a look back to genius Charles M. Schultz who wrote the book, “Happiness
Is A Warm Puppy…”
Each character defined, chose something different. Schultz let that
be a child’s choice to DEFINE for themselves.
Another conversation was overheard. It was a young twenty-something couple. They
were marveling at the holiday lights and the spirit of the holiday season. The
young woman watched the kids at the gathering running around and playing, while
others cried in tantrum mode at the sight of Santa.
She turned to her husband and said, “You know the holidays
won’t ever be happy unless we give our parents grand kids.”
He said, “Yeah, but that won’t make us happy to have them
before we’re ready and pay off our student loans.”
Both continued to wrestle with their conflicting feelings
looking totally lost and not wanting to be around the holiday ‘scene’ and they
both mutually decided “Let’s get out of here.”
Now on the flip-side here is what Happiness ISN’T….
- It is not the expectation of your parents or their definition of it.
- It is not your romantic partner’s expectation or their definition of it.
- It is not ‘going along’ with the expectation your friends or peers impose upon you to say what happiness is if it doesn’t agree with how you define it.
- It is not what society defines.
The young couple was not happy feeling the pressures and
imposition of others definition of happiness.
They decided for themselves to get space and regroup.
What did you learn from this?
YOUR definition and what you attach joy, fulfillment to
ultimately defines what you expect out of happiness.
Is this wrong? It is
only wrong if your priorities are not in alignment with WHO YOU ARE and if you
are still ‘unhappy.’
That’s how you know it is wrong, because IT IS NOT WORKING
FOR YOU.
When you are happy – it is when you decide you are happy and
decide what that actually means.
Read that again.
You cannot ‘expect’ happiness to find you, until you decide
to be completely OPEN to receive the happiness that is already there and say “This
is good enough as it is, because I am good enough.” Happiness escalates from there, when you choose.
That’s right… it is
already there. It’s a gift waiting
for you to open it.
Will you?
But as a humans, it is natural to like the chase. So let’s take it from that perspective.
Like a scavenger hunt for treasure, you can choose to find
happiness in every single event, every single moment, each and every day.
How YOU CHOOSE to attach your mood is up to you. You have
the power to change it.
If your fence gets broken by a tree falling on it, you can
be grateful that the tree chose the fence and NOT YOU.
If friends or neighbors offer a helping hand to fix it or
offer comfort for this happening, you can be grateful and happy you are so
fortunate to have their support and care.
If you do not have the means to fix it, perhaps you can be
happy that you get to try something different as a solution and tap into
creativity you didn’t know you had within you.
You can choose to find the silver lining in every cloud if
you allow your eyes to see it.
For the first couple arguing about their child’s Christmas
present, they could see that the greatest happiness was having the gift of
their son and maybe collectively decide WITH HIM, as a family how they could make
their holiday happy and not ‘assume’ or ‘guess’ but actually communicate. The
joy is sitting right there waiting for them to be enjoyed.
For the second couple, happiness was also right there as
they first marveled at the lights and spent time together to enjoy the moment
and their present decision in deciding this happiness was good enough right NOW.
Have you ever noticed that after a major act of Mother
Nature, ‘how grateful’ people are for the concern, the care, the out pour of
love, the helping hand, the donations, the display of support and community
outreach?
While they are grieving losses, while their hearts are
broken, some miraculous strength emerges from this darkness to seek the
light. We can learn so much by
witnessing this unfold before our eyes.
Everyday automatic pilot days – happiness is missed.
But when overcoming challenges and facing a situation where
there is sorrow or grief, happiness chooses to rise in the form of hope.
Do you notice how people CHOOSE to focus on rebuilding, bonding,
uniting, strengthening, and focusing on the power of hope, love, peace, and the
support to grow stronger, become more aware and join forces to better the
situation by connecting?
Human beings naturally have this within. In times of
struggle, they choose happiness to HEAL and grow stronger. This is just human nature. Everyone is equal in that we all have this to
begin with, we just need to choose it.
Happiness is THAT POWERFUL of a choice – it can heal, it can
help, it can rebuild, it can strengthen, it can CHANGE LIVES with that choice
alone – first your own and inspiring others to let the happiness grow like a
beautiful flower through a field of weeds.
Happiness is a choice.
You can choose to wake up and be grumpy or you can wake up and choose happiness.
Which do you choose?
To understand this and how it ALL LINKS TOGETHER – Watch
this video to get the 411 on how it all works:
Still confused? Perhaps
you can make the list talked about in the video, to see in front of your own eyes
how YOU define joy.
When you start to understand that you are placing
responsibility on other people or other things to be responsible for your joy,
this is why you do not have it.
It is that simple.
It’s not their job. It is yours.
You have a choice to look at difficulties in your life as
growth challenges or you can choose to be a martyr.
If you are unhappy, you are allowing your circumstances to
define you.
Is that right? Are
you giving away the right to your circumstances to be responsible for defining
you?
Aren’t YOU IN CHARGE?
When did you give up that responsibility?
Ask yourself when you gave permission for that to happen and
reclaim your internal joy.
First, SMILE. Feel
how your body can automatically ‘feel better’ by this one command you put into
your psyche of your overall well-being.
It’s miraculous how one simple muscle movement can give you something
you did not have before you took it upon yourself to make that conscious
choice.
Now imagine what it would be like if you made all your
choices this way! Choosing your mood,
choosing your outlook, your perspective, your shift to optimism, opening your
mind and heart to a new way of thinking, feeling, and being ---- BECAUSE YOU
CAN!
While this may seem like elementary stuff, daily life has
somehow been enabled to rob adults of daily
joy, daily fulfillment, daily happiness because we humans allowed that to
be.
Now imagine if you decided you were going to show others
your BEST SELF.
You would feel good about it, wouldn’t you?
It’s possible that your own joy can be inspiring others to
do the same.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to open the door to joy,
fulfillment and happiness each day by your own choice?
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO THIS.
CHANGE YOUR LINK.
UPGRADE YOUR LINK to happiness, joy and fulfillment.
Choose to be content with your choices.
Reclaim the LINK to this happy place because you have the
opportunity to do that for yourself.
It is there for you to choose in an endless stream --- and
you can do this at your will to choose to smile and choose the mood that can
make you feel good all the time.
Namaste.
