Life gets busy. Whether or
not your calendar is overloaded, you may find that life becomes even busier by
the day.
Ask yourself how many times
you have had to ‘reschedule’ something in your life, or ‘take a rain check’ as
you try to figure out your own life’s balance.
Overbooking is a bad
habit. Nobody likes it when airlines or
hotels do it, so why is it that most people happen to do this to themselves and
their own lives?
Worse... "sometimes when you overbook...you overlook." What do I mean by that?
You could be missing another more important time-sensitive deadline which needed your greater attention,
which has consequences more serious than the ones you are self-imposing!
Maybe you have a deadline coming up that is work-related; or perhaps you really need to be somewhere, which has a ripple effect (positive) or negative, that is dependent upon your presence.
Sometimes it is possible for you to clutter your schedule to the point, you miss the more important stuff because you cannot see it. This in turn, can and will have an effect on the outcome of something bigger.
So back to the question 'why is it that most people happen to overbook?'
Worse... "sometimes when you overbook...you overlook." What do I mean by that?
You could be missing another more important time-sensitive deadline which needed your greater attention,
which has consequences more serious than the ones you are self-imposing!
Maybe you have a deadline coming up that is work-related; or perhaps you really need to be somewhere, which has a ripple effect (positive) or negative, that is dependent upon your presence.
Sometimes it is possible for you to clutter your schedule to the point, you miss the more important stuff because you cannot see it. This in turn, can and will have an effect on the outcome of something bigger.
So back to the question 'why is it that most people happen to overbook?'
How you answer this question,
reveals the key to your links of distraction.
It will show you what you are choosing to surround yourself with in your
own energy field.
First, you need to ask
yourself …WHY do you overbook yourself?
Do you have FOMO? (Fear of
Missing Out)
Or are you afraid of what
your life would look like if your calendar was empty?
If your life links are
knotted up in a tangled chain, you may not realize that you are creating links
for yourself which are not healthy for your well-being.
Overbooking is distraction. Next, ask yourself WHEN do you overbook...?
Is there a certain time where you do this... i.e. to avoid another annual calendar event, like maybe a death anniversary to avoid grief? Maybe you "fill up" this time to avoid confrontation of your own feelings!
Maybe you do this at the slower periods of your seasonal load? Is it that you do not know what to do with yourself when you are not busy? Perhaps you overbook to distract yourself from other mundane chores or issues you'd rather not do, so that you purposely have an excuse for avoiding them again, because you are 'too busy.'
Some people overbook their calendars to put on the pseudo 'adult' hat to look 'grown up' and 'in-demand' because they want to avoid real adult responsibilities or old childhood issues they have not yet dealt with.
This may sound ludicrous to you, however what I have learned in all of my years of life and business coaching, this 'crutch of convenience' is more common than you realize. This is why businesses who "have meetings" but get nothing accomplished fall into this pit. This is why people who are continuous 'social outing people' have no 'real friends,' because they are only shallower fair-weathered connections and not real ones.
Is there a certain time where you do this... i.e. to avoid another annual calendar event, like maybe a death anniversary to avoid grief? Maybe you "fill up" this time to avoid confrontation of your own feelings!
Maybe you do this at the slower periods of your seasonal load? Is it that you do not know what to do with yourself when you are not busy? Perhaps you overbook to distract yourself from other mundane chores or issues you'd rather not do, so that you purposely have an excuse for avoiding them again, because you are 'too busy.'
Some people overbook their calendars to put on the pseudo 'adult' hat to look 'grown up' and 'in-demand' because they want to avoid real adult responsibilities or old childhood issues they have not yet dealt with.
This may sound ludicrous to you, however what I have learned in all of my years of life and business coaching, this 'crutch of convenience' is more common than you realize. This is why businesses who "have meetings" but get nothing accomplished fall into this pit. This is why people who are continuous 'social outing people' have no 'real friends,' because they are only shallower fair-weathered connections and not real ones.
Distraction is avoidance or
denial from confrontation or facing truth which lies behind the packed
schedule.
Imagine what your life would
actually look like if you had more time on your calendar to float, be
spontaneous or take in an opportunity which presents itself instead of always
having to say ‘no’ because you have no room to say ‘yes.’
Perhaps you haven’t examined
another element of overbooking which needs more of your attention.
If you overbook social
engagements because you have numerous ‘flaky friends’ you cannot count on,
maybe it’s time to re-examine your friends list.
If you have business
colleagues who put you on the ‘low priority list’ to meet up for coffee –
perhaps it is time for you to re-evaluate the kind of connections and quality
of exchanges you’ve chosen as links you have in your life to fill your time. You may be in 'fear' that the reality you face is that they are using you or not really truly invested in the deeper connection of a more meaningful and intimate-conversation based friendship of quality for the long haul.
You may have to face the fact that you 'like to feel needed' and therefore you keep these lower-grade quality connections in your sphere for fear of using your 'true voice' because you don't want to seem like a jerk for speaking up to say the friendship is one-sided or non-reciprocal.
You may have to face the fact that you 'like to feel needed' and therefore you keep these lower-grade quality connections in your sphere for fear of using your 'true voice' because you don't want to seem like a jerk for speaking up to say the friendship is one-sided or non-reciprocal.
Sometimes the root of
distraction is based on how you are valuing yourself, your time, energies, and
what you actually give vs. what you receive.
Distraction with overbooking
yourself prevents you from having experiences in the fortifying ways you can
find balance in your everyday life.
Perhaps you have told
yourself you are “too busy to__________” (exercise, meditate, take a class,
enjoy the arts or take on a new hobby, volunteer your time).
Just imagine how your life
would look if you stopped overbooking yourself with appointments which do not
serve your soul or spirit. What if
instead chose to devote your energies to more valuable connections and more
meaningful bookings?
What? You mean you'd have more meaningful
bookings? Is that possible?
YES, my friend. YES. Re-read that and blow your own mind --- you will see that your own quality of life resides in your hands.... oh yes, and in that calendar! Why is it you never prioritize yourself?
Let’s start with yourself,
your health, your life and lifestyle.
If you don’t matter to
yourself enough to book yourself into your own schedule, what energy message
are you sending out? Is this WHY you are attracting flaky friends or colleagues
who consider you a low priority?
Could it be that this energy is because you flake on yourself and put your own needs in the low-priority category?
Could it be that this energy is because you flake on yourself and put your own needs in the low-priority category?
What if you tried one small
LINK TWEAK…?
Instead of meeting a business
colleague for coffee - why not reconfigure that meeting for a business power walk-n-talk? If your colleague flakes on you, you are still
getting in a power walk instead of sitting in a coffee shop with cold
coffee.
Instead of standing alone
waiting for a friend to show up at a restaurant for your weekly social outing,
ask your friend to volunteer with you at a charity event or take a one-day
class. If your friend flakes on you, you
are surrounded by your own new group of like-minded individuals where you can
have a meaningful and valuable experience whether your friend shows up or not.
Suddenly, you will see that
the many things you believed you did not have time for, are now incorporated as
a part of your life, rather than being kicked to the sidelines on a waiting
list.
What you have ultimately done
with this one link tweak is you have shifted and re-positioned your own time
management just by the activity alone.
This prevents you from ‘overbooking’ if you set an activity as a part of
your ‘meetings.’
Your time is automatically as
a window of space, like a set appointment (without planning for cancellation,
but you have a built-in safety net anyway).
This also prevents you from squeezing in unnecessary activities and
overbooking yourself to overcompensate for the person who flakes in your life.
As humans, it’s easy to get
into a habitual pattern of the “rut” of wasting time, letting our LINKS rot by
waiting around and putting off our own fortifying energies just because others
are not on the same page to show up the same way we would like.
When we learn the art of
removing time wasting links of distraction from what we could be doing, somehow
our life begins to shift and change toward our true self and who we really
are. Rather than waste time trying to
link to energy which leave us empty, we can begin the new proactive pattern of
linking to energies that realign with what we want, shaping our own LIFE LINKS.
Our journey takes on a new transformation position just from one small tweak.
Another way to remove time
wasting links of distraction is to streamline your idea of what ‘being busy’ is
by the way you define it.
Normal human behavioral
response is to utilize busyness as a distraction all by itself. When people
keep busy with back-to-back scheduled activities, it is not always a healthy
thing to do.
Ask yourself the following:
- What am I avoiding by filling up my calendar?
- Who am I ultimately serving with my time and what ratio of it is given away too freely?
- What have I neglected by ‘overbooking’ my time? – i.e. responsibilities, emotions, relationships, health, etc.?
- When was the last time I…. ? (list what is important to you)
When we start to examine our schedules, we can take a closer look at how our own links of soul fulfillment start to become depleted, as we put ourselves in our own process of elimination rather than the behaviors which create the problem.
This is the starting point to
understanding prioritization, and where we fall on that long list of ‘things to
do.’
If you discover you put
yourself last on the list, it’s time to start changing your priorities and
begin re-evaluating your self-worth.
Distractions are not our
friend. They are temporary fixes for
where the real issues reside.
Sure, everyone may need a
laugh or a night out from time to time, but too much overbooking can lead to an
emotional breakdown, illness or injury from extreme fatigue and exhaustion, more stress, and sometimes it can lead to
depression or feelings of anxiety when the calendar changes.
One of the top contributors
toward post _________blues (fill in the event, vacation, or holiday) is the
sudden shift of going from one extreme to the next.
If you are in the constant
habit of activity – how you deal with yourself and your life alone in your own
skin without it is very telling in what ‘overbooking’ and ‘overextending’ can
do to your well-being and psyche.
We often underestimate the
power of solitude, resting, relaxation, silence, and peace.
The busiest people claim they
don’t have enough of it. However, if you
get to the root of truth, they are not comfortable living in it, which is the
primary reason for overbooking their time and calendar.
Distraction and overbooking
can lead to unhealthy, toxic and destructive behaviors if not managed
properly.
Some people like to zone out
and turn to the distracting crutches of substances or addictions. These addictions don’t always end up as
alcohol or drugs, but video games, shopping, gambling, sex, excessive workouts,
collecting/hoarding, eating disorders and the list goes on.
Overbooking can also fall
into this category. It is often
overlooked, as an addiction, but depending on the severity, you may need
professional help.
Take a closer look at how you
waste time or utilize distraction in your life. These may be the very links
which prevent you from living your best life.
Begin with the step of not
overbooking yourself and slowly integrate a new habit of tweaking your
scheduled life links.
Get some help and proper
perspective on how you deal and manage with your daily activities so you can
get in to balance and begin reshaping how you can better handle the time links
of your own life.
Namaste.
