Wednesday, May 5, 2021

LINKING TO SOCIAL ANXIETY SELF-CARE

 



There is an elephant in the world’s room.  So I thought I would take the time to talk about it.

As I sit here partially loopy after my second vaccine (for which I am grateful to have) with all of the typical side-effects of fever, chills, aches, the calling from the collective was strong enough to say “Stacey, you must write about this” – even though the nurse yesterday said ‘you should take it easy.’

So I am following advice, staying hydrated and taking it easy to recover after feeling like I was hit by a truck, but make no mistake, me sitting here writing this is not about rebellion, but rather when the calling calls, I answer... and in the sign-off words of Journalist Linda Ellerbee, “And so it goes.”

What’s the elephant I speak of?   

All around the world, we are seeing a potpourri mixed bag of things going on with some places going back in lockdown after severe tragedy and case spikes; while parts of the U.S. ready for summer-palooza to go to the least restrictive tiers.

While some are excited; others are skeptical; a good chunk are hesitant and most are cautiously optimistic – regardless of which box you tick, social anxiety is attached to much of this as we navigate a world with some tainted freedoms in being who we were as we PROCESS who we are becoming, as CHANGED PEOPLE trying to re-emerge and integrate into a lot of ‘unknowns.’

Whew… Yep, THAT is the elephant in the room.

Rest assured – THIS IS NORMAL – and while not everyone may feel comfortable talking about this, it is exactly why I sit here recovering from the side-effects of the second vaccine “channeling” this in a stupor conduit from the Divine to address this so you do not feel ‘crazy’ or ‘alone’ in what you may be feeling. 

Last blog, I talked about the mail carrier’s commentary about how she was ‘feeling out of sorts’ – as she processed doing her daily job of delivering mail with a bunch of mask-less people walking by her being uncertain as to who was carrying a vaccine card vs. others who are not to know when she should let her guard down.

Last blog was all about this ‘truth’ she shared and so to be here now writing this is not an accident but rather a higher calling to bring into awareness, more of these perspectives so you understand that it’s OKAY to FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL – no matter if your circle is feeling differently or perhaps similar in context as to what you’re going to do with your summer.

Isn’t it all ‘unknown’ – you ask?  YES.

What has changed in your perception of how you look at life?

Yesterday, I heard nurses whispering about how there were so many appointment cancellations and they were desperately searching for arms to jab, so they did not have to waste vaccinations.

Perplexed by this thought that some would get their first-dose, but avoid the second makes about as much sense as taking the time to buy the perfect ingredients to make your favorite dish and only using half of them avoiding the intended ones which give the dish its name.

As I had begun to humanly form opinions about this, I had to call upon a larger elephant in the room analyzing humanity’s “F-it” and perhaps ‘mistrust of safety’ and/or ‘fatigue from struggling/suffering to plow on’ and also choosing their own roulette wheel of ‘when time’s up, time’s up’ – possible thought process that a variety of souls may be THINKING as we’re all judging and well, everyone is different and has their own take on all of the above.

This ended up being a group discussion as half of us sat on one room vaccinated, and the other half of the room waiting to get their shot. 

A mother sat there crying saying “That’s just stupid. We’re all here doing what we must do and last year was hard enough, why sabotage and make us do all this again? This is wrecking my kids’ mental health.”

A very tired elderly man who earned every hardship wisdom line as well as laugh-line on his face sat there scratching his head “I’ve seen a lot in my day. We’ve recovered from a lot of things, but this is different.  I wanted to enjoy my retirement, but if we don’t get this under control, and more people skip doses, I won’t be safe to enjoy it meaning that I will have worked so many years for nothing…”

Whoa.

Depending on whom you ask, everyone has their own take on this pandemic, what it means to them, how it affects their lives, how they are looking at the present moment and how they’re assessing their future.  But no matter what sampling of people you talk to – the sentiment is the same of one breath of PAST * PRESENT * FUTURE.

So let’s talk about this elephant, praying that Ganesha can remove the obstacles we are stumbling upon as we try to move forward…

Health, safety and well-being mean different things to different people and what we’re all experiencing now as we grapple with some social anxiety is that we’re all struggling with finding the ‘match’ whereby we are assured of ‘like-minded’ humans/souls who commit to what health, safety and well-being actually mean by individual interpretation of definition.

What’s more, is that we’re technically all feeling as if we can step out to be as mindful in our practices of health and safety – but that not everyone is going to adhere to it exactly the same way.

One of the nurses said yesterday “I am surrendering to the idea that I will never be able to live my life without a mask no matter what anyone says because I don’t want to live with the consciousness that I could still be a carrier, even if I am vaccinated and affect someone else.”

Leave it to a nurse to say THOSE WORDS.

As I left, I found myself concurring with that sentiment in terms of responsibility and conscious actions, while my human realized I may never have to buy lipstick again, nor be able to flash a smile which in my mind’s-eye is the universal language to connecting with one another – leaving me with a mixed bag of feelings of how my human will be showing up in the world, even though I’ve been jabbed.

I reflected upon what the old man said and how ‘sad’ that is in how he feels about his future, as the crying mom is looking for a life raft of normalcy to be strong enough to ensure her kids can move forward safely, mind-body-soul-spirit – it was very real as to what everyone is struggling with in their own way.

So this elephant in the room is all about where and how we deal with this mourning, this grief while we emotionally and mentally work through both our own individual situations as well as the collective greater good of humanity and the return to what may be a return like none of us have seen before.

The nurse said “I may see all of you back here in 6 months, depending more upon what we learn as we go…”   

Everyone sat up like meerkats, “Say what?”

YES. These are hard words to swallow as we look at the reality of the looming variant mutations come fall/winter once again, clinging to the creature comforts of food and binge-watching distractions to remind us once more that our new normal is like some merry-go-round that reminds us no matter how we live it, that life is indeed a gift, even if we are penned in a new reality that is changing every single day.

Perhaps we all took it for granted in a way we didn’t realize until we got here?!

If you are in this ‘haze’ of two steps forward, three steps back in your life as you approach life with your cautiously optimistic outlook – let’s make no mistake … NONE OF US are the same as we were and what we’re trying to figure out now is how to embrace this altered timeline of our own on-going ascension of both individual and collective evolution.

So let’s do some soul-probing questions:

  • 1)      Are you stepping outside of yourself (like out-of-body) to see human existence changing the way YOU relate to YOUR OWN?
  • 2)      How are you communicating this swirling emotional state as you approach both your professional and personal life and how have YOU adapted to this process?
  • 3)      Where are you finding that your words and actions morph new altered states as you make your own way through looking at your PAST * PRESENT * FUTURE? 
  • 4)      How are you discerning your life choices and what have you surrendered from your old list of life experiences? 
  • 5)      As we examine what the nurse said, that the elderly man said and what the mother said, who do you identify with in terms of HOW YOU SEE your own mind consciousness of the way forward?

Maybe these questions leave you with more questions; maybe they leave you with more ‘absolutes’ in your daily truth.

Regardless of where you sit – you can rest in the fact that we are all like baby deer being born, wobbly as we step into our new world and social anxiety shouldn’t have a stigma attached to it, but rather the compassionate call-to-action of what we all must do in accepting everyone’s new truth of living forward.

Self-care isn’t just self-care as we accept we can actually care for ourselves better if we stop battling what isn’t aligned and instead be okay with where we are aligned in our own consciousness and mindfulness.

Nobody talks about this – as most interpret self-care as merely meditation or yoga or eating right, but if we are to get our minds and hearts into TRUE ALIGNMENT, we must begin self-care with letting go of what we cannot control, but rather make peace with what it is that WE DO in every moment. 

This is where true self-care in the consciousness of the new world can help us HEAL instead of creating new non-productive thought battles that may differ from our own.

The nurse, the elderly man and the mother may all be echoing some similar context to you or not; some may deep down align with the postal carrier I wrote about in the last blog. 

What matters in YOUR interpretation of well-being is constantly redefined with the more information we have, and also yes, SIFT THROUGH to see our own truths and how we align to those truths to deal with our own internal “elephants in the room” we haven’t yet dealt with as a society, all of humanity and yes, within our human/soul context.

If we haven’t evolved to this compassionate non-judgmental place from all we’ve endured the last year and a half, we haven’t arrived to the place of how we must exercise our gentleness and kindness as we are patient with each other’s comfort zone or lack of as we all step into tomorrow.

The first steps will not be perfect, but we need not classify or label them and step into the reality that everyone is trying to do the best they can with where they are and with what they have, including the information they’ve processed, not processed, have had access to or were given. 

We are reminded once more, of how we co-exist peacefully in a situation that only we have control of within our own personal and professional choices as we move forward.  These choices may or not be the same as everyone else’s – but it is in understanding our own process we can rebuild our own choices mindfully carrying out the best way we can with what we have with where we reside.

All I know is as I sit here enduring a few discomforts, I am grateful to be here, to be vaccinated and while even I don’t know what this means six months from now or a year, depending on what we all learn in real time about our own coverage, that I am okay with my choices. 

Trusting in what is to come, hoping that as I encounter other humans/souls, I’ll find my like-minded troupes who may see the world with similar eyes and choose to show up the same way.  But regardless if this happens, seeing the learning curve of what conscious choice-making in every present moment can indeed dictate the present-to-the-future outcome.

Lovely Souls – our new world is here.  Don’t be hard on yourself if you are having trouble navigating it – rather be gentle with your self-care, giving yourself some compassionate action of taking care as you need your way, knowing we’re all trying to integrate and re-emerge into a world we don’t yet fully see as totally actualized in a world of constant change.

Blessings & Light.

Namaste.

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