For the past twenty-six years, the traditional Mother’s Day
and Father’s Day outings have not existed for me. I have been an orphan.
Losing my father to cancer, and my mother to Alzheimer’s to
where she had forgotten I was born or existed, made browsing aisles of greeting
cards, and seeing the barrage of retail ads for ‘Mother’s Day and Father’s Day gifts’
sobering reality in a commercialized consumer world market place.
What became glaringly apparent to me in my youth as a child
and teen when my parents were alive was that they didn’t want the gifts, they
merely wanted the moments, they wanted the time and the memory-making. I am grateful this was obvious back then and I
took stock of those moments to the max... because I didn’t know that would be
all I would be left with for the remainder of my life in what sped by at the
blink of an eye.
I salute my elementary school teachers, who forced our classrooms
of children to ‘write’ their thoughts, their feelings, their emotional insight
regarding their parent relationships to share what they meant to them, what they
loved about them and above all, what mattered most. I can peacefully say that
my parents knew exactly what I felt about them both from my child’s eye, and
also from my young adult one as I viewed them as people, not just as my
parents. There wasn’t anything left unsaid, shared, or exchanged – and we had a
respect and peace where love could grow in a way most humans on earth have not
yet experienced to the fullest degree of honesty, compassion and understanding.
Today, in a market place filled with retail reminders punctuating
year after year that I would not be revisiting these holidays the same way
again since my parents have passed, I want to encourage you as adults today to
revisit your elementary school classroom and write out today what your parents
mean to you. Do it… you won’t regret it.
If you have been fortunate to have had time with them, if
they are still alive … share your thoughts, share your feelings, take on the
emotional courage right now to say what you need to say.
Over the years working with coaching clients, I have been an
insistent force in helping others to deal with their own parental relationships
from their own childhood to dealing with their own children in behavioral
transference.
Celebrating the good stuff is worth cherishing and honoring,
being grateful for what you have, what you had and what you learned from their
teachings and wisdom or gained from their strengths can be enlightening for you
to see with your own eyes. Sharing this
appreciation with them solidifies questions in their own heart of what they may
have not had the courage to ask you.
If you had challenges or difficulty, just remember that
forgiveness begins the road of healing for both of you as you learn to accept
the fact you have become who you are as a result of said challenges and in
essence, you have the opportunity to change and grow as a result. You all do…. And
that’s the beauty of life itself in learning emotional courage from one
another, regardless if you are the child or the parent – every human has a
place to begin healing.
In the end, all there is, is LOVE. Love is born from
communication and understanding.
If you
have an opportunity to gather this in the here and now – do it. Even if you didn’t get the opportunity to be
blessed with more time on earth – you can still grow from your own emotional
courage to embrace greater understanding.
It is here you can begin a new pathway in your own quest for emotional
depth and growth in all areas of your life.
Most times in life, there are things that a greeting card
cannot say. There are moments that gifts
cannot convey, because it is in the moments where longevity resides in the
heart and mind, for you to treasure in your own soul.
I am grateful for the treasured moments I had. I don’t want you to miss any of yours,
because time and life are short, so begin expanding your own place of cherished
memories and moments with the emotional courage and bravery you choose to step
into today. Trust me….you’ll be glad you
did!
If you need help with where to begin… reach out. I’ll be happy to assist.
Blessings, light and continued celebrations.
Namaste.
