Friday, March 18, 2016


Not every day can be a bed of roses and not every day can go our way.  Sometimes it is not just days, but weeks, months and yes, sometimes there are even years that do not pan out exactly as we wanted.

However, within each twenty-four hour period we have a chance to make a list of what goes right. 

We have a chance to itemize a list of ‘good’ things and ‘sweet moments’ as we take a moment to re-tweak our LINKS.

It is human to think about what is not going right.

Nevertheless, it can also be human to be grateful for what DIDN’T GO WRONG.

You have heard the cliché trail of optimistic thoughts, quotes, and ideas about being the optimist and thinking positively.  You have been told to look at the glass half-full.

You have always heard ‘things could be worse.’ 

While this is true, it is more difficult to reflect on that when you feel as if you are grasping on something to hold onto.

Let us take apart the chain of LINKS of what we know – which is everything you have read above this line. 

Now, let us experiment a little to see how we can shift our perspective a bit to RETHINK THE SWEET LINKS.

When we were children, we always had things to look forward to….

  • School breaks/vacation
  • No homework
  • No tests
  • Longer recess
  • Cool stuff to trade with our classmates during lunchtime
  • A chance to win (fill in the blank of the game/sport)
  • Walking home from school with friends
  • The afterschool snack
  • The weekend
  • Playtime

As adults ------ Where is this list?  Do you have one? 

If your answer is that your list only consists of the weekend and getting off work early or a cheat day to eat junk food – maybe you need to re-evaluate your list.

As adults, our minds are filled with responsibility, clutter, and the ‘should do’ list as much as the ‘I’ve got to do’ list and the greatest sweet spot you can muster up is maybe not having to do laundry.

This needs to change.

Each day, there is something to recognize as your sweet link, but the problem is life has become far too chaotic to notice. 

More importantly, as adults – we do not celebrate little things as much as we should and the deal is WE SHOULD. 

Ask yourself when the last time was you celebrated the following:

  • A string of green lights driving from point A to point B
  • Someone actually getting your coffee right
  • Your computer did not crash
  • Someone let you go ahead of them in line
  • No one flipped you off
  • A stranger smiled at you
  • You didn't see one person take a selfie today
  • Every song you heard today you knew all the words to 
  • The bus or subway was on time or your car started
  • The weather, traffic and your immune system cooperated with your social calendar
  • No one actually got on your nerves today
  • You were able to squeeze out the last of (the toothpaste, shampoo, etc.) to get out of the house
  • Your pet or child learned something new
  • You learned something new
  • You were on time for XYZ
  • Your phone battery actually lasted all day
  • There was only junk mail and no bills
  • There were bills, but you are grateful you have a way to pay them
  • The lunch special today just happened to be your favorite
  • Your shoes no longer give you a blister
  • You laughed today more than once
  • You actually remembered what made you laugh to make someone else laugh
  • No one actually laughed AT you
  • Or maybe they did, but you are in such a good place you can laugh at yourself, too
Moreover, the list can go on.  See how easy that was? 

These are the LINKS within our psyche that can be changed for our own well-being.

However, we have to recognize that when we get into a bad habit, that we do not adopt it or accept the bad habit as the only way we know how to live.  We have to wake up and see how the little bad habits become larger bad habits and we allow and give permission for these to invade our center of who we are.

When we take the pro-active steps to change them, we improve our own quality of life.

It is when we take that step; we can SHIFT THE LINK into a new placement within our mental and emotional processing. 

New behavior is always possible.  We can make it simple on ourselves if we take things in steps to adopt the behavior like bites we chew on and digest slowly to fully integrate it and adapt. 

Once we do that, a new habit we turn into a positive one becomes a new ritual we design organically by consciously shifting the perspective.

Sometimes all it takes is an itemization as we just did.  Sometimes you just need to slow down and think or journal.  

Truth is, it is always there for you – no matter how bad things get.  

The sweet links are there for the savoring (see what I did there?)  

Life is not meant to be spent in a state of bitterness – that is why we were given more senses to experience.

It is when we choose to do that, we LINK to the sweet spots of our day – EVERY DAY.