Giving is a gift in itself.
How many ways can you define giving which have nothing to do
with anything material?
We give of our energy, our time, our efforts, and of our
hearts.
When we listen, we give.
When we care, we give.
We offer answers and provide support, we give.
Sometimes when life is, challenging, just showing up is an
effort in giving when you do not have enough of your time, energy, or efforts to
go around.
Although our hearts appear to have an endless supply of giving,
they too can become depleted, but we always find a way where we can give.
It seems endless, right.
Isn’t giving easy to define?
Now… how many ways can you define receiving that have
nothing to do with anything material?
Do you define receiving the same way as taking?
How do you differentiate the two definitions?
When most people think about receiving, they think that
receiving only means taking.
However,
this is not the same thing.
Let us examine further how define the difference.
Some people receive energy, time, and efforts. We can accept and receive the energy given to
our hearts in “answer” to what giving is done from someone else.
HOWEVER, what happens when some people take more than they
give, or they do not bother to reciprocate and only take… how do you then
define the difference?
Taking is not the same thing as merely ‘receiving.’
Some people may know how to take; but they do NOT know how to
receive.
Have you ever met someone who cannot accept, receive, or
take a compliment or praise?
Have you run across someone who shuns, repels, or denies
accepting an offer of help?
Help is perhaps the most challenging LINK to address. Some do not know how to ask for help; others
would not dare to get help; and there are others still who believe getting help
is a sign of weakness or a lack of independence.
Therefore, the idea of ‘receiving’ is actually given a stigma
where receiving is compartmentalized as a form of taking. Since the idea of only ‘taking’ is considered
rude unless you are giving, the idea of receiving is often misinterpreted
stunting the receiving process.
How we perceive giving and receiving is based on how our
minds process the terms, how we were brought up generationally, culturally,
socioeconomically, and how you were raised to understand the term “help” or
“receiving” a hand.
Giving and receiving is an art of balance. Without balance, we do not understand how to
communicate within our own beings the meaning of an exchange.
If we examine something as simple as a houseplant – we give
it water, sunlight, food, fresh air, and love. When it grows and thrives, it is
showing it received what we gave it and in turn becomes a healthy plant
returning and giving us back energy and oxygen.
Nevertheless, when it comes to human life behavior, we do
not always examine that giving and receiving is like a game of tennis. If you give too much, your arm gets
tired. If you do not receive, there is
no ball to return and the game is over.
Too much giving is overcompensation.
Too much receiving is selfishness.
Giving without receiving leads to lack of self-worth.
Receiving without giving can be identified as insecurity,
neediness, and void filling.
This is why balance in giving and receiving is an art. The ‘fine line’ is a tricky one to walk
without going over the line in the next arena.
It is like caring for that houseplant. If you give it too much water, it will become
waterlogged and die of root rot.
If you ignore it, taking it for granted, let it dry out, the
plant withers away, and dies.
How can balance be achieved in the art of giving and
receiving and how can your link be tweaked for creating said balance?
First, we have to understand that compartmentalizing occurs
in the human psyche and we isolate our giving and receiving experiences early
on from childhood.
When ego is involved, people become attached to the emotional
response of give-and-take and keeping score of who gave what vs. what was
received.
When you remove ego from the process, you understand that
nothing can thrive or survive solely on only giving or only receiving, there
has to be a balance of both actions.
Receiving is sometimes more challenging for people to do
than giving because accepting involves trust.
Sometimes humans do not trust the intention of the giver, questioning
motive for giving or if there are strings attached, or a reciprocal action that
is imposed, obligated or expected.
We are much more able to receive freely when the intention
of the giver is not questioned; however, this goes back to the process of
giving.
If people only give with the idea that they get back, the
intention is not pure as it comes with great expectations that the recipient
may not understand.
If giving is done with a pure intention with zero
expectation, and receiving is done with gratitude, there is a healthy exchange.
Healthy exchanges are vital to healthy relationships. Without understanding the give and take
process and the balance of what that means, we have misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings lead to miscommunication.
Miscommunication leads to conflict.
Conflict leads to discord.
Discord leads to unrest.
Unrest leads to anger and resentment.
Anger and resentment lead to grudges.
Grudges lead to lack of forgiveness.
Lack of forgiveness spiral out into a domino effect of
guilt, blame, distancing and disconnect.
When you are disconnected, your LINK to giving and receiving
is gone.
In addition, what is left is a dead plant, no life, and no
tennis match, only racquetball with the ball whacking you in the face.
Understanding your receiving link is as equal to knowing its
importance in the process of giving, along with pure intention and no
expectation.
How we achieve balance is remembering that it is natural for
us as humans to do both with detachment when we honor the practice of give and
take without our ego present.
When we
are more aware and allow ourselves to simply be present for exchanges
throughout our day, and be gracious in the process, we become better at
participating in both giving and receiving.
It is here we as humans can begin healthy conversation and
actually living, giving and receiving the way It was naturally intended. Let’s remember to say “Please, receive my
assistance” and “Thank you for offering your help” when we’re finished.
Namaste.
