Monday, February 25, 2019

ACCEPTING YOUR LINK TO CHANGE



A fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate – these ‘references’ of life carry the vibration of being optimistic, open and filled with hope.  

This ‘opportunity’ is something that most people can relate to with the New Year beginning and it is why everyone gets excited about ‘what is to come’ and ‘what could be’ and ‘not knowing’ what will occur as part of a new adventure in life. 

It is exciting, isn’t it?  That feeling of not knowing what great surprises of joy may come and what could happen, is like a little adrenaline rush.

So why is it that when “change” actualizes and happens, people get anxious, nervous, some get uncomfortable, and frustrated?  

Why do people oppose change and sometimes become unhappy and scared? 

Where did that exciting feeling go?  

The theory that change has to be suddenly overwhelming, daunting, and downright “icky” to cope with may be a normal knee-jerk reaction when you feel out of control and unable to have a voice in the matter.

However, that does not have to paralyze you from accepting that things fall away in order to make room for new energy to enter your world.

Do you remember that ‘fresh start’ feeling? 

There seems to be high contrast when a fresh start happens on your terms, as it is viewed as positive.

However, when change happens to you, it is viewed as negative.

The bigger question…Why the double standard? 

Change will happen regardless, because nothing stays the same. However, where you have no control is in HOW it happens, and in what exact order that happens, and more importantly if said change is by your plan.  The reason for this is because there is a bigger divine plan. 

Once you begin to understand this concept, this is where acceptance begins.

Most people will struggle only when they cannot accept, but you have the power to eliminate the struggle by accepting. This is where the transformation occurs.

Why can’t a ‘fresh start’ with change you make happen, and the change that happens without your control have the very same resonance? 

Is it because you feel powerless and not in ‘control’ of change? 

Is it because you are going into uncharted territory? 

Here is where you get the opportunity to see how you choose to react vs. act.

First, give up the idea that you get to direct how the change happens and that it will happen according to your own script. 

Life does not work this way, as you probably already know, it has many unexpected twists and turns for real reasons you do not know.  It is not your job to figure everything out for everyone involved, but it is your job to decide how you will deal with these unexpected curve balls.  

THIS is the beautiful part… you get to be surprised with the unexpected and sometimes that turns out even better than you could have planned for yourself. Here is where the real change happens because you transform in the interim.  

Most people believe in the cause and effect theory. But there is this quiet space/place in what I call the “in-between” where most people miss the opportunity to digest, marinate, reflect and evaluate.  It is human nature to want to jump in to resolve right away, but sometimes in doing so, you miss the beauty in what can happen when you are the one doing the changing and adapting in the process. 

It is in the small nuances the most accelerated growth happens, because most cannot sit still in the silence. 

Let’s try something…
Sit quietly. Take a deep breath…. And another.  Allow your mind to create a blank page, forgetting all what just occurred.  Ask yourself what you would have done about ten minutes ago inside of any struggle you may be facing.

Was it to try to escape or run?  Fix or solve? Deny or blame?  Censor or shut off the flow of spirit or another’s interaction?  How about assess or examine? 

Most do not choose the latter as their first choice – but you will do yourself a huge favor if you do this and ask yourself WHY this change is occurring.  Perhaps you’ve become blind to things you need to be seeing for your own transformation, and it is only inside of the assessment pool will you be able to understand the change that is happening as it is happening. 

Does this mean that what you want won’t happen?  No. 

However, it may not happen the way you want it to happen and it is only in resistance you struggle because you do not accept the idea that not all change is in your proactive sphere.
Sometimes change happens when you decide to rest in being as you are, where you are, as change happens all around you in order for you to step into a new arena you wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. 

It is here you can be set free to grow, change, and transform for your pathway seeing the bigger picture of what is changing around you.  

This simple state of being can help you reflect on what you CAN CHANGE and that is your very own perception of how YOU LINK and attach yourself to the idea of a blank page in your life. 

Remember, it is YOUR journey… so the bigger question is, what will you put on it?  How will you punctuate it?  What do you want to see when you reflect back a year from now as to what you did with your actions and reactions?  

If you subscribe to the idea that change helps YOU to grow, that is all you have control over – your willingness or resistance. This is where you choose to do what is difficult and challenging in order to grow, or simply get out of your old way of dealing with things. 

When you accept the change within yourself first, that you never stay the same – you’ll be able to accept the change in your environment, seeing it as a way for you to expand your own awareness and consciousness for the changes that are to come. 

Namaste.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

THE REFLECTIVE LINK TO YOUR NAME





When you hear the word “nostalgia” in the context of your own name, what comes up in your mind? 

How do you define it, how far back does it take you, and what emotions does this word trigger within? 

As humans, we do not take the time to reflect and measure our own growth on a daily basis.  In fact, for most humans, it is ‘go, go, status quo.’ 

Unless you are forced to stop in your tracks to “remember when” … or something you see, hear, smell or taste takes you back to when you were five, or ten or ten years ago, you do not reflect on a memory unless you have a trigger.  This is especially true when you get nostalgic reflecting upon your name.

Maybe you had a nickname growing up… or your parents called you a shortened version of your name or by your middle name or in another context because you are a Jr. or a III name in your family.  Maybe you were named after a relative or family friend and how you identify to your own name varies, depending on the setting of where you are called different things – i.e. a family reunion or at work or even by your friends and the people who know you best. 

But what if I were to trigger you … right here, right now, today, in your shoes, socks or bare feet to ‘remember’ something differently as to how you relate to your own name? 

Are you ready?   This game is something I created called “What’s in a name?” 

  • ·         Do you remember the first time you wrote your name? 
  • ·         How old were you when you wrote it for the first time?
  • ·         Was it with a pencil, a pen or crayon? 
  • ·         Was it in the sand or snow? 
  • ·         Do you remember writing it in cursive? 
  • ·         Did you practice it?  If so, how often?
  • ·         Do you remember the first time you typed it with your fingers? Did that feel or look weird to you?
  • ·         Do you remember the first time you ERASED IT… with a pencil eraser, or backspaced on a keyboard to erase it?

Okay… so wasn’t that fun?  

Why did I have you get nostalgic about your own name?  

I wanted you to identify your own past feelings and connection to it so you could think about it in your present as you write your name TODAY.

We adults write our names a myriad of ways when we connect to life contracts of some sort – a payment, an agreement, a document, an application, a form for anything --- and we “blow it off” like breathing.

We do not take the time to value our own names and our connection to our names.  Instead, we literally write ourselves off like a grocery list and treat ourselves in this same manner.

Isn’t that sad?  

I wanted to write this blog and bring this to your attention because this is WHERE putting ourselves last actually starts.  There is no longer any ‘honoring’ this piece of ourselves in daily life – instead we look at this as a “task” and we lose connection to this one nostalgic flashback. 

When we do this, we dismiss all of the times we wrote our names and it “meant something.”  From signing a letter, or applying for a job or school, or other big monumental moments that are part of life’s events.

When we sign our names, we are actually doing something that changes the course of our lives.

No matter how big or how small, or even insignificant you think that is, the action itself is actually moving you along your lifeline and life’s pathway/journey.  You are creating moments every time you write your own name.  Sometimes doing so takes bravery, like when you sign a petition to stand for something or when you vouch for someone you believe in – even when it is your own self doing something that is significant in your life.  

So the next time you sign your name, I want you to flash back to this moment and remember reading this.  Maybe you’ll take your time with writing your name… maybe you’ll smile and be proud of yourself… maybe you’ll giggle and say “Yes, this is me and I am making a moment.” 

Just remember that you are you – and there is no one else like you. Like your own name, the way you write it and the way you attach yourself to doing this very one simple thing makes all the difference in how you proudly invest yourself in who you are.  
  
You’ve come a long way… it is time you put your name to that and celebrate.

Namaste.
Stacey Kumagai  :D